Moving In
by SuppaOtaku
Summary: When Ichigo and Rukia's house is being fumigated, they have no where else to turn to, but Karin is willing to take them in...prepare for chaos. IchiRuki HitsuKarin and RenTatsu  COH
1. We Meet Again Niisan

_**A/N:** Hello every-nyan. This is a story I've been having in my head for a while. I have nothing more to say, just read._

_Rating **stays** the same, may go up._

_**Title:**__ Moving in_

_**Rating**: Click back and read._

_**Summary:** Click back and read._

_**Pairing(s):** HitsuKarin, IchiRuki and RenTatsu._

_**Warnings:** This story isn't really AU, takes place after Aizen's defeat. All is peaceful and people be living in Karakura. Some will be shinigami._

**_Shinigami: _**_Tatsuki, Karin and Yuzu will be shinigami. Tatsuki and Karin will be in the 11th squad. Yuzu will be in the 4th squad. They live in Soul Society, but when they have 'breaks' they return to Karakura._

_Their (Yuzu and Karin) ages will be around 19, meaning Ichigo and friends will be around 20 years._

"I don't own bleach." Talking

_I honestly don't._ Thinking/Flashback

**"****What would make you think I do ?"** Stressed words

Alrighty then let's start!

* * *

><p><em><strong>We meet again...Nii-san<strong>_

In this story we look at a young couple, male and female. They seem to be sleeping peacefully in their room, enjoying each other's company.

The male had his face buried in the crook of her neck. His arms were holding her body tight, like he kept her prisoner in his arms.

The female had her face buried in his spiky white hair, her finger entangled in it at the same.

So they lay there, breathing in each other's scent. Covered with a green sheet outlining their figures.

Yes, peaceful indeed.

No one would dare to disturb such a peaceful sleep. Especially when it was Karin who was sleeping. No, no person would, no one **but** Kurosaki Ichigo.

Furiously dragging his feet to his feet towards their house. Muttering curse words. "Just ask Karin, she'll have a room." he muttered, trying to mimic Rukia, but failing and sounding like Orihime on helium.

"We could've asked Yuzu, but **no~** we_** have **_to ask the violent one."

Running his fingers trough his bright orange hair, he arrived at the door.

He ringed the bell button, waiting for his younger sister to open up.

Another set of ringing, didn't do anything.

"Oh yeah," he sighed "just what I need."

He leaned against the door, to get out his phone.

Once he leaned with full weight against the door. he fell on his side, phone falling out of his hand.

He pushed himself up and looked around the living room. No soul around, nothing made a sound.

"She's probably sleeping." he sighed, much to his surprise he got in so easily, "Why was the door unlocked ?" He closed the door behind him, concentrating on where his sister's bedroom could be.

He tried to remember the house he was in. _Let's see, first door on the right was the bedroom, or was it first door on the left ?_

He tried the first option, seeing the toilet. "So this is not it."

So he moved onto his second option. Unprepared for the image of his sister and the 10th squad's captain that was about to be burned into his brain.

He opened the door slowly, careful not to wake his sister. And there it was...the horrible image of Toushirou Hitsugaya, on top of his sister, sleeping.

He closed the door again, letting it sink in.

_He slept with his... sister?_

_He slept with his sister._

_**He** slept with **his** sister!_

"That**_ sneaky_ _little_** son of a bitch slept with my sister!" he whispered out loud.

He kicked open the door, the hit so hard there was a crack in the wall.

The bang was so loud, it woke them up.

"Prepare to die you**_ little_** bastard !"

He carelessly swinged at the captain. But the white haired captain was prepared to block his attack.

Once his fist reached out to break a jaw -or two-, it was blocked...by Karin.

One hand to block the attack, and another to cover up her chest.

She had an annoyed look on her face, but managed to give her brother the most evil glare. Just to scare him away. And it seemed to have done the trick.

_Let's see, I'll pull a classic Retsu on him. _She mused in her mind.

She put on a smile, closed her eyes, and faced his direction.

"Brother, _please_ wait for me in the living room."

Silence.

"I'll have to change you see, **_then_** we'll** _talk_ **this** _little_** incident out." she said, trying to stay as calm as possible.

The substitute shinigami growled, but he couldn't disobey. She'd kill him. So he did what was said, and left their room.

"I am going to **murder** him. I swear to Kami one day he'll get his **ass** handed over to him, by me." she growled.

"Karin ?"

"Toushirou ?"

"How did he get **in** ?"

"I have** no** idea."

I guess this was Kami's way of saying that it was time to get up. What a way to start your day.

* * *

><p>AN: That was the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed. Just R&R for me to continue.


	2. Rules

_**A/N:** Chapter two, Rules._

_Nothing special. Renji and Tatsuki will be introduced in the next chapter._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Rules and reasons<strong>_

After quickly changing, Karin appeared in the living room. Toushirou thought it would be wise to stay in the room, until it was over.

A smile was pasted on her face, an incredibly intimidating smile that was.

Very similar to Unohana's, but somehow this was scarier.

It was funny, with the way she could manipulate him by making some faces.

She slowly took place across the table Ichigo was sitting at. Slowly opening her eyes. _Those eyes_. They **_burnt_** his soul.

He gulped and looked at her, frightened. He may be stronger, but she was a **_hell_** of a lot more intimidating. There was an awkward silence until she decided to speak.

"Brother, would you mind telling me** _how_** you came in, swinging at my boyfriend like that ? Do you wish to **_die_** at such a young age?"

"Tch, where is that sneaky bastard anywa-"

"Just answer the question Ichigo."

"I came to ask you a favor."

"You didn't ask me anything."

"Well, that's because-"

"Okay, Shut up. What do you want ?"

"Well," he began. He recalled the memory of yesterday, what a horrible friday it was.

* * *

><p><em>"Ichigo~!" a sharp high-pitched shriek came from the living room. He rushed downstairs, almost tripping on his own feet, twice.<em>

_"Rukia, what is-" He looked at the floor, it was covered in sweets, wasted food and sake. Attracting flies and cockroaches. _

_Rukia stood in the middle on a small stool, holding up her skirt. She held out her arm, signaling Ichigo to pull her out of the mess._

_But the boy was so hypnotized by the endless mess in his house, he didn't see her._

_"Ichigo goddammit !" she snapped. She threw her hands in the air, losing balance. She fell too fast for him to catch her, with a bad result. _

_In two seconds flat, Rukia was covered in bits of ramen, eggs and as final touch a huge blob of pink gum sticked to her hand. _

_"You stupid bastard !" she cursed. It seems extremely out of character for someone like Kuchiki Rukia to curse, but she was obviously pissed off. But then again, what would you do in her place ?_

_She pushed herself up, but failed because her hands slipped._

_"Oi midget, you OK ?" _

_"Ichigo, this **not** the time for you to call me names. So pick me up before I'll give you a **painful **make-over ! Pick me up **NOW.**"_

_"No need to be so pushy." he complained, much to Rukia's dismay. **He** complained while **she** was covered in somebody else's filth._

_After Rukia rinsed her hands and put on a new dress, they where bound to find out who the hell did this to their house._

_When they were about to enter the living room, Rukia jumped on her boyfriend's back, almost breaking it._

_"Oi, what the hell do you think you're doing ?"_

_"These roaches are scaring me." she shivered._

_He sighed, "You fight with terrible monsters everyday and yet you're scared of roaches."_

_She pulled his hair. "What was that ?"_

_"Nothing."_

_He started walking, careful not to step on water and slip._

_When the couple arrived at the kitchen, they saw Yachiru and Rangiku on the floor, smelling like sake and ramen._

_Rukia descended from his back, looking at them in awe._

_"Get out !" she whispered loudly. She couldn't believe it. **They** did this ? Of all people, but then again Rangiku is a sake-addict and Yachiru...well you know her._

_Ichigo walked pass them, filling a glass with water. _

_"What are you -"_

_"Shh, it'll work."_

_He poured the glass out of their faces._

_"NYAN !" _

_Yachiru was first to wake up, followed by a loud scream of Rangiku. _

_The strawberry blonde rubbed her face dry with her sleeves. _

_"Where am I ?" Yachiru asked, "I feel woozy."_

_"Oh man I had** way** to much to drink." Rangiku laughed._

_"Are they sober or what ?" Rukia thought out loud._

_A cockroach ran by her foot, with a loud shriek she jumped on Ichigo's back._

_"Stop it will ya ?"_

_Rangiku looked around. "Hey Istygo, Rumia. How are you today ?"_

_"Did you give Yachiru sake ?" Ichigo asked the blonde. She just smiled._

_"Did you really give alcohol to a minor ?"_

_"I'm 17, I can drink." the pinkette broke in. Rubbing her head she stared around, looking for something or someone._

_"Hey where are Renji and Tatsuki ?"_

_"I don't know, they left pretty early, I'm sure they hooked up."_

_"**I don't care, get off your lazy asses and clean this house up !**" Rukia snapped._

_"Gomen, gomen. We're gettin up already. Why're you so naggy ?" the blonde complained._

* * *

><p>"So we all finished cleaning up, but the roaches stayed. We already called to get the house fumigated."<p>

"Listen **here**, and listen **close**. Because I'm only gonna say this **once**."

Ichigo gulped, he knew what was going to come. Even if Yuzu did al the caring and cleaning when they lived in their dad's house...Karin made rules. And if you just **dare** to ignore them, you'll die. So it was only natural, rules are rules. Even Rangiku didn't break them when she stayed at Karin's house. And that has to be enough said.

"If you ever come in my room like that again, no wait. _Scratch that_. If you ever come into my room **at all,** You die. If you **ever** eat the watermelons, you die."

She pointed at a watermelon on the dining table sitting in a bowl, and continued. "If you ever swing at my boyfriend like that again, you die. If you use my soap and or shampoo without asking me, you die. And if you **ever**, and I mean **_ever_** destroy anything, mess up anything or bring freeloaders into _my_ house, I, Kurosaki Karin, born second to Masaki Kurosaki and Isshin Kurosaki, will make sure that you will** die** by my hands and burn in eternal hell-fire. Did I make myself clear, Onii-chan ?"

Gulp.

"_**Are**_ we clear Ichigo ?"

"Yes ma'am, we are."

"Then that's settled," she got up from her seat and walked towards her room, and shouted, "I'm going to take a shower now, call Rukia."

"I will."

He sighed in relieve. _Thank **Kami** that's over, I thought I was gonna die for **sure**_.

He pulled out his phone, dailing Orihime's number.

* * *

><p>"So, is everything alright with Ichigo ?" Toushirou asked.<p>

"Yeah, well. You might wanna sit down for this one."

He looked at her in confusion. Sitting on the bed, unprepared for the chaos that's about to come.

I guess, this was Kami's way of entertaining himself. Setting chaos between siblings and their loved ones. This was going to start one hell of a complicated story.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **Gomen-nasai for waiting soo long. My Google Chrome is acting really wierd, so if you notice spelling errors, please inform me. Look at a picture of older Yachiru(easier for the imagination) You see links don't work here.:_

_**Girls Be Ambitious** from** Nimbus-Mage** on DeviantArt _

_**Grown up Yachiru** from **NekoZumi** on DeviantArt _

_**Siesta under the tree** from** kittykatkanie **on DeviantArt _

_Or __**Older Yachiru **from** Bleachnettie **on DeviantArt_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sneak peek next chapter: Rangiku and Yachiru's Fantasic adventure.<em>**

_"Rangiku, what are these ?"_

_The strawberry blonde walked over to Yachiru, who was scroling on her phone. Very wierd pictures of unknown people were on the display._

_"Who the hell are those people ?"_

_Yachiru shaked her head. She was still confused out the photos and wierd drawings she had on her arms. _

_"Man, we have to find out what happened that night."_

_It was almost like a lightbulb popped above their head._

_"Let's start with Ichigo's house, I'm pretty sure there are some clues left there."_

_"It'll be like a huge adventure !" the pinkette screeted happily._

_Will you **not** join them ?_


	3. Rangiku And Yachiru's Adventure

_**A/N:** Just another chapter, it's gonna be a two-parter. Renji and Tatsuki's relationship will be introduced here._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Soooooo, you know the drill already right ?<em>**

* * *

><p>After all was set at Kurosaki's residence, we look at the other side of town. At Tatsuki's house, Rangiku was staring out of the window, trying to recall memories of her wild night. The funniest thing was that Tatsuki and Renji <strong>did <strong>hook up. "Wonder how that happened." she muttered to herself. She gave the stars another look, it was so quit and beautiful... After a few seconds, the door flew open and there was her pinkette friend, scrolling on her phone, walking towards her.

"Rangiku, what are these ?"

The strawberry blonde stood up and walked over to Yachiru. Very wierd pictures of unknown people were on the display. She took over the phone. There were 15 pictures, 5 were taken in the dark so you couldn't see anything. She squinted her eyes, nothing was visible. She looked at another one, a rather private one. It was showing a _certain_ pinapple and a _certain_ karate-trainer getting _pretty_ intimate. She had a sly smile, she was really going to tease thim with this picture. Another set were made of unkown people, she did recognize some of them. But the rest was pretty vague.

"Who the hell are those people ?"

Yachiru shook her head. She was still confused out the photos and weird drawings she had on her arms. She turned to Rangiku and showed her arm. Rangiku took at look at the crinkly lines. They formed...numbers ? Now she was getting curious.

"Man, we have to find out what happened that night."

It was almost like a lightbulb popped above their heads. The blonde smiled.

"Let's start with Ichigo's house, I'm pretty sure there are some clues left there."

"It'll be like a huge adventure !" the pinkette screeched happily.

They walked downstairs, looking for Tatsuki. "Tat-su-ki !" they yelled.

After a second of waiting, a tired Tatsuki walked up to them. Her face was covered in stands of hair, her eyes were red. She wore a blue shirt that was way too big for her, and it was probably not even hers. Her face was saying everything, she was tired and pissed. Yes, a typical morning. Except for the fact that it was 3 in the afternoon.

"_**What**_ is it ?"

"You have to help us."

She sighed, she was not in the mood for their problem, at least not now. She was tired, her -inner- tights and head hurt like hell, she knew she could collapse at any moment and she was -probably- not ever sober.

"With what ?"

Rangiku saw her expression and knew how it felt to have a massive hangover, but she needed help. "We need to know what the hell happenend yesterday, you have to help us."

"Do you have a second ?"

She walked to her bathroom, after 5 minutes she came out, cleaned and clothed. She was still tired, but she could probably last one hour before crawling back to her warm sheets.

"Wow, that's fast."

"I know," she replied "what the fuck do you want me to do now ?"

"Well, we want to get into Ichigo's house, but we don't know how." Rangiku laughed nervously.

Tatsuki looked at her in awe, was she serious ? "You guys, I have a **massive** hangover my tights and legs hurt like hell I was sleeping like a newborn baby just now. I was trying to find some **goddamn** rest," she raised her voice, "and you guys wake me up because you want to open a door. Are you fucking kidding me ? You're fucking **shinigami** you blow up hollows everyday and you ask me to open a door ?" she pointed at them with every word she yelled.

"We just don't want to break anything because if we do he won't let us in anymore." Yachiru whispered loudly.

"Oh, well...I need a hairpin and a flashlight then."

"What's with all the yelling ?" a deep voice broke in from behind Tatsuki. They looked at Renji who seemed to have a hangover too. He looked even worse then Tatsuki did. He wasn't wearing a shirt, only a set of wide boxers, but no one complained...since there were only girl in the room.

"Oh hey, good morning to you too." Yachiru waved.

"Is it morning ?"

"No, you doofus it's afternoon." Tatsuki replied.

"Why're you so kranky anyways ?" Rangiku asked.

"I just told you why. Let's go, I wan't to go to sleep."

"Were are you going ?" he asked her. She turned around, "I'm going to break into Kurosaki's house."

He looked at her with a confused face. "Isn't their house being fumigated...like right now ?"

"I don't know, I don't care...I just want to go to sleep."

"Have fun then...I guess."The trio of girls left the house, Yachiru -being as hyper as she was- made some weird cat-noises giving Tatsuki migraine. Rangiku was just strolling along, mumbeling words like 'photo's' and 'night'.

Now the tattooed redhead was looking at the door they just walkout of. Wait... Did he just let them break into his friends' house ? "Oh well."

* * *

><p>"You almost done ?" Rangiku whispered loudly.<p>

"Shut up, just a second." Tatsuki replied, obviously annoyed.

With a click the door opened, she was finally done. "I'm going home now."

"So anxious to go home eh ?" Rangiku teased her, much to the karate trainer's dismay.

"No, I just want to go home and get some -"

"-Of Renji ?" She interruped her. The blonde gave her a soft elbow.

She blushed at the comment. "Yeah yeah, whatever..I'll be going now." she waved, "Ja ne."

As soon as she left Yachiru knew the door was open so she didn't have to stand on the look out. The pinkette youngster hopped over to her older friend. "Shouldn't we go in now ?"

"Yeah." She replied. The door was just slightly open, and she too was afraid of what was going to come. "You open it." she told her younger friend. "Ok!" she said enthusiastically. With a swift push it opened. "The smell of adventure." she whispered loudly.

She walked inside, a fusty scent washed over them. "Adventure smells pretty gross." Rangiku commented,"maybe she should take a bath, or use some deodorant." she finished, waving her hand infrint of her nose to which her younger friend giggled.

"Oke, we're in. Give me the phone."

So the young girl gave her the phone. She opened the phone, trying to compare the photos to the house. One of the photos was taken against the counter of the kitchen. On the photo there was a red paper on the counter, Rangiku checked the counter for the paper...and suprisingly it was still there. She picked it up and flipped it over, some of the words were hard to read but she could make out what it said.

"It's a phone number !" she smiled. "And I know who's number this is."

* * *

><p>When we go back to the other side of Karakura town. We look at two couples. Two men and two women. The women seemed to get along but the men...they were getting along in a different kind of way. No, then I would be lying... So maybe I should say, they weren't getting along <em>at all<em>.

Another fit of giggles erupted in the room as Karin and Rukia were talking. Just to earn a annoyed groan from the oldest Kurosaki.

"You know what would be fun ?" Rukia asked her friend.

"What would ?"

"I remember this game a girl and her friends were playing it's called: Truth or dare."

"I know that game, it is fun isn't it ?"

"So I figured we could play it on Friday, when we go to the beach-house."

It was like Toushirou's ears twitched at hearing the word 'beach'. So he decided to ask his girl what vice-captain Kuchiki was talking about.

"Karin, what was that about the beach ?"

Karin sighed, she knew this would happen. Now she had to explain to him what her friend was talking about, and she knew what he was going to say without even asking.

"Rangiku and I hired a beach-house for a weekend, so we invited as many people as we could to go along with us, just to get away. But I didn't ask you to come along because I assumed you'd say no."

"You got that right."

With this said, Ichigo thought it would be funny to intimidate the young captain. If he wasn't dragged by his hair by Rukia, he probably wouldn't come along. It would be awful to be surrounded by a bunch of violent girls in bathing suits...And one of them was his sister.

_Manipulation._ That's what got him into his mess. It didn't matter if he wanted it or not, someone was going to snake her way into his mind. And some of these girls were good at it. Especially Rukia, she could manipulate him even better then Karin could.

So if he had to suffer, so did the captain.

"Yeah, boring as ever Snowflake." she muttered

"Would you quit calling me that !"

"Oh I'm sorry captain Hitsugaya, would you like a kiss to make it up ?" she hissed sarcastically.

"Too bad you're not coming along, I am." Ichigo told him. It caught his attention.

"You are ?"

"Sure am, I didn't have a choice y'know. Rukia forced me to.. And I think you're forgettin' a important fact here."

"Enlighten me."

"Karin is about 100 times worse then Rukia is."

_Fuck._


	4. Shopping!

_A/N: I really am lazy and stupid, but that doesn't matter. This is the shopping chapter, not really important._

_Soccer Shorts - A two-parter._

* * *

><p><em>Sooooooo, y'know the drill righ ?<em>

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful Saturday morning in Karakura Town. Home of Kurosaki Karin and her brother and their loved ones.<p>

Today Kami decided to entertain himself again with these people. And we are lucky with his choice, because **we** get to sit next to him and watch.

In the living room of Kurosaki residence, a couple was arguing, it seemed to be the oldest battle, Man versus Woman.

"I'm not going Karin, stop trying to force me." he tried to get her to stop about it, but being as stubborn as she is she wouldn't let him have his way.

"Don't be such a fucking buzzkill."

"If you leave me alone, I will." He took a sip of his tea, it was 10 in the morning and he couldn't even drink his tea in peace.

_I got it ! How's this snowflake. _she rubbed her hand together in her mind.

"How about this, if you don't come along...you won't get laid for the rest of the** month.**"

"I can live with that." he took another sip of his cup.

"I'm so fucking done with this !" she stood up and walked away.

_Three...two...one _he counted mentally.

"BUT !" she yelled from the bedroom "You are shopping with us today."

"Why not ?"_ Finally, I get to drink my tea in peace__._

* * *

><p>When Ichigo and Rukia were awake and cleaned, they came into the living room. Waiting for Karin. They were going to leave to pick up the rest if she was done.<p>

When Ichigo saw Toushirou was sitting on the couch, ready to go, he assumed Karin did her part of his plan. He smiled slyly.

"So I take it you're coming along ?"

"No." he replied.

_Huh ?_

"But...the...Karin...**what** ?" he stammered. He couldn't believe this he was able to withstand Karin's manipulation ?

"It seems like I can handle your sister better then you can."

"Okay okay, that's enough Ichigo." Rukia soothed.

_Well, it seems like she's not that good as I thought she was._

"Let's go." a female voice from behind him said.

He turned around to confront her about Toushirou's situation. "Yeah well-" As soon as he saw her appearance he became angry, she was wearing **way** too little. At least, he thought she did. _Somebody_ else was enjoying the view.

When Toushirou saw her, he knew she wasn't doing this on purpose, it were her 'going out' clothes. An outfit Rangiku bought her, she had a similar one, in pink. Whenever they got out, they wore it.

White hotpants, a matching waistcoat and a red T-shirt. Red, her favorite color.

_Nice. _

"Take it off." he said, a little too demanding for her taste.

"_Excuse me_ ?"

"I said, take it off. Go wear something else."

Rukia pinched the bridge of her nose, how stupid was he ? For a moment he forgot they were living in _**her**_ house.

"Ichigo for the love of Kami.." she muttered under her breath.

"No I'm serio-"

"Brother, don't make me hurt you." she walked pass him as she pulled her hair into her usual pony tail with a red ribbon. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>"They're here !" Yachiru yelled trough the house.<p>

"Wait a minute okay, I'm almost done." Tatsuki yelled back, adjusting her shirt.

"All done." she whispered to herself. She opened the door of her bathroom to find Yachiru and Renji waiting for her.

"Hey there." he greeted her.

"Weren't you guys waiting outside ?"

"No, I forgot my money so I figured, might as well wait for you." he simply replied.

"Oh, well I'm all done." she smiled.

Outside the door there was a group of five people, two men three woman. Two of them were almost dead seconds ago, their big-busted friend almost made them suffocate. But they didn't mind they were so happy to see her.

"Rin !"

"Ran !"

Toushirou twitched at hearing that phrase, _the Rin-Ran twins_. Those two girls were dangerous by themselves, but as a combination... _**horrifying**_. Whenever those two were going out, he'd end up with a scar, blood or at least a bruise.

"Captain !"

He held his had in front of her as soon as he heard her voice.

"No, hold it right there." her captain looked at her with his angry face on, which was mixed up with his normal face most of the time, since he looks angry **all** the time. "I don't want to die just jet."

"Captain, you're so mean !" she complained.

"Hn."

The front door of Tatsuki's house opened, and as soon as she stepped out, she was tackled by Karin and Rukia. Squeals of her name and the sound of her groans made Ichigo laugh. He knew how much she **hated** being hugged.

"You guys, that's enough." he tried to stop his laughing, but failed. As soon as the karate-trained got up and straightened her clothes she shot him and evil glare. As soon as he saw her, he was as silent as he could be.

"So, how are we going ?" she asked her friends.

"We'll be going with public transport, shunpo is no option here." Karin replied.

"Yeah, there's a crowd."

Renji was confused for a minute,"You guys called us one minute ago, told us you'd be on your way," he stopped to think "your neighborhood is pretty crowdy...How the hell did you get here so fast ?"

"We used shunpo when we were just in front of the house." Toushirou said.

"Oh."

"What are we waiting for ? I'm getting tired !" the youngest complained from behind Tatsuki.

"Oh, Yachiru..didn't see you there." Rukia said to her, to which she pouted.

"Doesn't matter, let's just walk there, it takes about 10 minutes." Rangiku suggested, with a vague sound of agreement from the rest, they started walking.

* * *

><p>"We're finally here !" Yachiru announced as if nobody could see the giant mall in front of them.<p>

"Let's go shopping for a bathing suit first, I want one with stripes this time." Rukia said.

"No, there's this new shop and I'm dying for you to see it." their big-busted friend says as she leads the way.

Karin was talking with Yachiru, when she noticed something. "Wait a minute Yachiru." She turned around to see a group of girl her age follow them, not them but _someone_. They seemed to be interested in Toushirou... But he didn't notice.

"Can I help you ?" she asked the 'leader' with a sharp voice. The group of girls stops walking, and so does her group.

"Who're you ?" the girl replies, pushing a strand of her red hair behind her ear.

"Funny, I was about to ask _you_ that since you're the one who's looking at **_my_** boyfriend." she stated.

"_**Your **_boyfriend ?" she laughs "Was he high or something ?"

Karin was starting to get angry, their girly laughter only triggered her itching fists to punch their teeth out.

"Listen here little bitch, _**don't**_ fuck with me because I'll demolish that pretty little face of yours and make you**_ feel_** pain you've never felt before." she threatened her. '

"Oh fuck, somebody stop her before she kills that girl." Ichigo gave Toushirou a push. Signalling him that it was his job to do it, but he refused.

"I'm not touching her, did you hear what she just said ?"

"You're going to fight me ?" she laughs at her "I don't think you know what you're in for." She gave a soft elbow to the girl next to her.

"Hey Yuki, she's going to fight me, oh please somebody save me !" she faked her fear.

Was this girl out of her fucking mind ? Was she trying to get herself killed ?

"I'll let you have a freebie, you can hit me," Karin pointed at her jaw "right here."

"Rangiku do something !"

"It's your sister !"

"Why would I hit you ?"

"I want to see what you have in store, my captain told me to be generous once in a while. And I feel like being nice today." she told her.

"Tch, you came at** me**."

Karin balled her fist "Wrong choice." With a quick step her fist reached out, she gave her a soft knock for someone with shinigami powers but it was enough to sent the girl flying backwards, hitting the floor.** Hard. **

She cried out in pain, her friends tried to help her up. Two of the 4 girls who were standing behind her rushed to help the injured girl on the floor. She was down in two seconds** flat**, blood gushing out of her nose, screaming for her daddy like a little bitch. Karin seemed to find it _hi-larious_.

"Oh my god, I think it's a new record." Rukia whispered loudly. "Two seconds, hat's impressive."

Renji couldn't believe her words, "It's a _human** girl**_, what did ya expect ?"

"Ha, that was it ?" Karin spat at her. It triggered fear at the group of young girls. Like they just witnessed a monster, the two remaining ran away. "After all that talking I thought you could take a fucking punch."

"I'm done with her, anybody else volunteering ?" she eyed the girl who's name supposedly was: Yuki.

"Get the fuck away from us." she spat at her. "You're fucking crazy, you don't fight with someone over a boy !"

"She's got a point." Rukia whispered loudly.

"I wasn't fighting because of snowflake," she stops to hear his reaction. "I was fighting because I love fighting..and she dared me to."

"You didn't have to do that." Renji stated to which everyone _including_ herself agreed.

"I know," she shrugged "but she was challenging me."

"I thought it looked pretty cool." Tatsuki said.

What ? That didn't make any sense. "No she wasn't she-"

"We shall **not** speak of this." she closed her eyes and smiled at him.

_That smile..._

"You're right. I'm sorry ma'am." he apologized without even knowing why..

"How are you able to do the Retsu-move ? I'm impressed." Rukia asked her.

"I learned from the best."

"Say does anybody know where Yachiru is ?" Ichigo looked for the youngest one who was standing next to him just a few minutes ago. But she wasn't there.

"I thought she was standing next to you." Toushirou said, looking at Rangiku.

"Oh god no." the big busted women sighed. "I know where she is."

* * *

><p><em>AN: If you wondered what happened to their adventure, don't be sad m'kay. At the end of the story the WHOLE night will be clear. _

_R&R ...Love Taka_


	5. Wastin' time

_**A/N:** Karin in Soccer Shorts_

* * *

><p>"Well ? Where is she ?" Ichigo demanded, normally he would't give two shits if she was gone. But they were in a group now, and searching for her would take forever, meaning they'd be here all day. And who would want to be in the mall listening to girl talk all day ? That's right, <em>nobody.<em>

Matsumoto scratched her head nervously, "I think I'll go get her myself, it would take a while though."

"The fuck are you talking about ?"

"Oh, she's_ there_ again." Tatsuki couldn't help but laugh at the thought of it.

"Where is 'there' ?" Ichigo asked her.

"_Yeah_, we're not going to tell you, you guys'll just ruin her fun." she replied.

"Why would you say that ?" Renji asked her, he likes fun too why would he ruin it for someone else ?

"Because you guys are different." Rukia answered for her. "We like it there, you'd** hate** it."

"I don't even care, I want to get out of this godforsaken building as fast as I can." the young captain stated, to earn a agreeing nod from Ichigo.

"Shut the hell up shortie." Karin gave him a soft elbow.

"So where was she again ?" Ichigo interrupted.

"You sure ?" Rangiku asked "Once you go inside there's **no** turning back." she added the dramatically effect, the only thing she missed was a flashlight.

"Oh please, how bad could it ?"

* * *

><p>"Oh god get me outta here !"<p>

Another cloud of toxic waste washed over them like smug, it had the disgusting scent of what girl call "perfume", Renji was coughing the loudest. They were groaning, like they were just stabbed and at the brink of dying.

"Oh shut up, we're just outside." Tatsuki huffed at them. "Whimps."

"Did you see the fucking store ? They abused the color pink to it's max..." Ichigo yelled at her.

"It's like somebody ate all the girly things in the world, drank some perfume and barfed it out here." Renji tried to explain the horror he just witnessed, and he didn't even get inside. The bright pink light just blinded him, like he never saw light before.

"It wasn't that bad, but the perfume is **horrible**, how the hell does this **not** burn trough your flesh ?" Toushirou stated.

"It doesn't matter, I'll go get'r." Rangiku announced. She stepped inside the store, fading into a a small crowd of girls.

After 5 minutes she returned, with the pinkette youngster clinging to her left arm and two bags to her right arm. Yachiru let go of her arm as soon as she noticed the group. She smelled horrible, like ten cheap odors at the same time.

"Hello everybody~"

"Finally, she's back." Ichigo sighed and noticed the two bags she had clinging to her hand "What did you buy ?"

"I didn't buy this."

"Well where the hell did you got it from ?"

"I go this for free." she smiled.

"Why would _anyone_ give_ you_ stuff for free ?"

Rukia groaned "Why do you** think** ?" He didn't answer her.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because her breast are a big as watermelons.. Yeah, maybe_ **that**_ had something to do with it." she pointed out sharply.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." she mimicked him with sarcasm dripping of her words.

"Let's go please, my longs are filling up with this disgusting perfume." Renji commented, to which Tatsuki snorted.

"Oh yeah, I was going to take you to this little cute shop." Rangiku remembered.

"Anything that's not here is okay with me." Ichigo groaned.

* * *

><p>"Look ! It's Ichigo." Yaciru squealed. She pointed at a huge cardboard strawberry with huge black marble eyes.<p>

"Hey, it is." Rangiku confirmed, laughing at their orange-haired friend. "They even look alike."

"Haha, very funny." he muttered under his breath. Rukia placed her hand on his shoulder. "Don't complain so much, be a good sport for once in your life."

They all entered the shop, being welcomed by a shower of cool air. It looked so much bigger inside. There was a huge pyramid like table, with all sorts of beauty-products. Everywhere around them there was some kind of fruit painted on the wall, with one or two shelves standing in front of it.

But Ichigo was focusing on something else, _Where are the bathing suits ? _

He kept looking around, but didn't see anything.

"So where are the bathingsuits ?" he asked Rangiku.

"There are none." she waked away from him, towards the huge table in the middle.

"Why the hell are we here then ?"

"To shop for beauty-products." Karin filled in, something probably caught her attention because she walked away too.

"What the hell do you need a beauty-product for ?" he yelled after her. Just to earn a groan from his friend standing next to him.

"Man, you _can't_ shop for crap can you ?" the karate-trainer gave him a soft elbow before she followed Rukia into the shop.

"So we're just supposed to stand here and wait for them ?" Toushirou broke the silence.

"I think so." Renji replied.

A loud cat-like sound broke their concentration. All three of them turned around to see Yachiru running inside and outside the shop, probably to get doused by the cool air repeatedly. She seemed to have too much fun with it.

"Ehhh...?"

Renji mentally facepalmed. "Does anybody happen have some horse tranquilizer ?"

* * *

><p><em>AN: I'm **way** to lazy to write the rest, so I guess it's gonna be three parter now?_

_I'm sorry you guys. _


	6. Finally

As all the females of the group were amusing themselves in the store with various beauty-items, the males were having a hard time trying to stop Yachiru and her ridiculous ways of having fun. Once Renji got her to stop, they were exhausted and desperate to go home.

How did he get her to stop you ask ? Well, they decided that giving her something she'd be doing for a long time, but would be as quiet as possible...Food. Candy was not a good idea, so they just gave her a dozen of frozen popsicles without sugar.

It was amazing how fast she could eat 3 liters frozen liquid.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ how long are they in there ?" Ichigo sighed as he looked at the girls squealing around like schoolgirls.

"I think," Toushirou looked at the huge_ pink_ clock hanging at only white wall in the store. "'bout half an hour."

"Really, it seems like_ hours._" Renji muttered lazily. He checked om Yachiru again, seeing she was amusing herself along with the other ladies.

An uncomfortable silence hit them.

"This store is reeking." Ichigo stated out of the blue, earning agreeing nods from the young men around him. He covered his nose with his hand, refusing to let in the _disgusting _scent around them.

"Cheap perfume and sweat everywhere." Renji finished for him.

The youngest huffed at them. "What did you expect ? This is a store for_ females._" he stated the obvious.

The two narrowed their eyes simultaneously.

"Yeah..."

* * *

><p>"This store is amazing, they have everything here." Rukia, unlike her moody boyfriend, seemed to have a blast. If it weren't for the law of gravity,<em> and the fact that she was wearing a gigai<em>, she would float around like a fairy.

"I know, look at all the great stuff I found." Tatsuki opened her arms, showing them the products. A pink bottle of lotion caught Karin's attention. It had a strawberry on the front of it, a strawberry that looked _just_ like the cardboard just outside of the store.

"What kind of product is that ?" she asked her older friend. She shrugged in reply. "There was a whole bunch if shelves with these things over there." She pointed at the back off the store, where the different colors could be seen on the shelves.

"Why is there a strawberry on it ?"

"I don't know, there were different kinds of fruits. This one smells like strawberry so that's why I wanted it."

"I'm gonna check it out."

The young Kurosaki made her way to the shelves when she remembered, it was a _strawberry_. And there were other fruits too.

"Rin~!" a familiar feminine voice rang in her ears. It was none other then Rangiku who was holding her hands behind her back, with a sly smile pasted on her face. Karin thought it was suspicious at first, but after realizing that was the way Matsumoto acted on a daily basis, she let it go.

"I've got a surprise for you~" she sung with a high-pitched voice.

"What _kind_ of surprise would that be ?"

She opened her hands to reveal a small pot of cream, a green one.

"The fuck is this ?"

"It's body butter," she replied "_edible_ body butter." she added.

"Oh, why're you giving this to me ?"

She pushed the pot into her younger friends hand.

"Read the back side." she said as she walked pass her.

Left in confusion, the younger girl decided to do as her blonde friend told her. She flipped over reading the ingredients.

"If user is allergic to watermelon or one of the other ingredients, please do not use." she muttered as she read it. At first not really realizing it, but then...

"No." she groaned, "I'm** not** buying this. I'm done."

"What is that you're holding ?" Rukia asked when she approached her sister in law.

"Edible body butter." she frowned. "Ran gave it to me," she sighed "but I'm not gonna buy it though."

"Why not ?"

"Because I know where she's getting to, and I'm not going to let her." She pressed the pot into Rukia's hands. "Here," she smiled "You can have it. I'm going to buy a swimsuit."

* * *

><p>As soon as everyone got what they wanted, they left the store. Which seemed to be like a gift from Kami to Ichigo. He could swear he heard angels singing when they left the store, but naturally the was a<em> little<em> catch. They left the store with 6 bags, _they had to carry them of course_, with the weight of an elephant (at least that's what Ichigo thought). But he decided not to complain about it, because a _certain_ little sister would be tempted to snap his neck if he did.

"Where are we going now ?" Yachiru asked.

"Were going to buy a swimsuit now." Tatsuki answered.

"Where ?" Renji asked her, she pointed to a store, close to a exit. _Thank god, that fuckin' god ! _he praised in his mind. It wouldn't be that smart to say that out loud.

"You guys have to stay outside though." Rukia pointed out. It was like a question mark popped into Toushirou's mind. It's not like he _wanted_ to go inside, but why couldn't they go inside ?

"Why ?" he simply asked them.

Karin decided to answer his question. "Because it's going to take a long time, the store is full of_ girls_ and we just**_ don't_** want you there."

"What does that have to do with anything ? -"

Ichigo broke into their conversation "Do you remember what happened one hour ago,_ that_ is going to happen again if you don't listen." he whispered loudly to the young captain.

"Oh, that's right."

"Let's just be quit for the rest of the day, anything we say gives somebody pain." Renji suggested, Tatsuki smiled at his suggestion. "Now,_ that_ would be a good idea."

"Good boy Renji, good boy !"

* * *

><p>"We're here !" Yachiru squealed as they entered the building, for some odd reason she was eating a biscuit. But nobody asked about it.<p>

"About that, Yachiru do you have money ?" Rangiku asked out of the blue. Yachiru stared at her older friend, with the usual smile she wore.

"No~." she sung as reply to the older women's question.

"How are you going to get a bathing suit then ?"

"Eh, I don't know."

Sweatdrops could be seen from the moon.

"You know what, I'll buy you one if you promise not to run away again." she proposed.

The young pinkette gave a assuring nod "Yes ma'am !"

"Alrighty then, let's go in."

The quintet of girls walked into the swimsuit-store. Leaving the trio of men alone outside.

"This is the **worst** day of my life,_** no**_ near-death experience can top this." Renji said lazizy, he seemed to be drowning in his own misery. How sad.

"I agree." Toushirou replied.

"Let's just go, I'm sick of this place." Ichigo supposed.

"I don't think that's a good idea, I value my life." the youngest stated. And he was right. It doesn't matter who you are or how strong you are. You **_never_** interrupt a girl when she's shopping.

"He's right Ichigo, I like my face the way it is thank you."

"Well," the orange haired teen started. He tried to think of another way to get him out of there. But nothing came to mind. "crap." he ended.

* * *

><p>"This one looks nice." Rangiku held up a mannequin torso wearing a red bathing suit. It didn't even<em> look<em> like, more like a bunch of strings made of bathing suit material.

"The fuck is that ?" the karate-trainer next to her asked.

"It looks nice doesn't it ?"

Tatsuki took over the plastic torso and placed it back on the rack. She guided Rangiku elsewhere. "Let's look for something made of a little **more** material shall we ?" she smiled nervously.

On the other side of the store, a_ certain_ Kuchiki had some trouble finding a bathing suit. Luckily Karin stood by her, helping.

A huge poster with various body-shapes hung before them. At the bottom there was a guide, there were 4 steps.

"Let's see." Karin bent down to see what the guide was saying. "Choose your length. Short, middle or tall."

"Short." Rukia blushed with embarrassment.

"Now, choose your cupsize," she read "A, B, C, D or DD ?" the young Kurosaki looked at Rukia. She looked confused.

"I don't really know." she admitted.

"That's easy." Karin stood erect and walked over to Rukia. "Turn around." she instructed.

"But why ?"

"Just turn around."

So she did what she was told and turned around, her back facing Karin.

"Lift your shirt, just the back."

She did as she was told again. Karin looked at the label that was sewn on the left side. "C36" she read out loud.

Rukia turned around again, with a faint blush on her cheeks. "What now ?"

"What sort of bathing suit do you want ?"

"Eh...?"

"Do you want a one piece, a bikini or a tankini ?"

"What's a tankini ?" Rukia asked.

"Where the upper part is like a tank-top." Karin explained.

"Oh, bikini would be nice."

Karin looked at the huge poster again. "We have to go to the back of the store, they have bikinis for people with your body type."

"Great."

* * *

><p>Outside of the store, the trio was hanging around. At some point Karin was calling them for help. When they entered the store it was if time stopped. When they walked trough they could hear all the costumers whispering and giggling.<p>

"Looking good." a female voice from behind them complimented. Ichigo tuned around to see a duo of girls giggling at them.

"Don't turn around," Renji warned him "we'll get in trouble."

"Oh yeah, sorry."

When they saw Tatsuki with a plastic torso in her hand, they realized they were going to be there for a_ long_ time.

"You needed help ?"

"Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you," She held it in front of her. "what do you think of this one ?"

"I'll take this." Renji whispered. He walked past the youngest captain to get to_ his_ girl. "It would look nice on you." He took her arm and guided her to a mirror.

Their voices dimmed as they walked.

Out of nowhere Rukia ans Yachiru appeared. Rukia had a faint blush on her face, she looked very displeased.

"Ichi~, I found a bathing suit for Rukia but she doesn't like it. Tell her it's pretty !" she threw the plastic mannequin torso to him. Without even looking at it, he threw it back.

"It's pretty." he replied with a frustrated groan. "You have a bathing suit now, let's go."

So they did. Without even knowing what their girlfriends -_including Yachiru and Rangiku_- bought that day. The only thing they knew was that they were glad to go will be so surprised when they do know what was bought. And they **will** know how it can backfire on you if you don't pay attention.


	7. Let's Play The Game Or Not?

_**A/N:** For the ones who wonder who this Kami is we speak of, it's me. Since I have all the 'power' in this story and stuff. _

_If you don't get, son't bother trying to. But if you **do** get it, lovely. _

_Alright now, let's start._

* * *

><p>After the day of the shopping trip, a <em>certain<em> blonde and a _certain_ youngster had some_ fun_ planned out, well not for themselves but for someone else.

Well, Kami was kinda to blame for that one. Since she brought up that devilish plan in her head.

What was that you ask?

Well it's a long story, but I suppose you would love to hear it.

* * *

><p><em>Matsumoto had quite a day, when she got 'home' she wanted to just drink some sake. So when she was back at Tatsuki's house from after she bought her sake, she was exhausted.<em>

_And as she expected, nobody was there to answer the door when she rang the bell 100 times. So she just waited and waited...for an hour. Well, knowing that only Renji and Tatsuki were inside, she** had** to know she was going to wait, but not for so long._

_It was when she started falling asleep, Renji opened the door for her. So her head hit the floor, and she got up like a rocket._

_"You okay?" the tall man asked her, she replied with a groan. Then it hit her, she was waiting for them, for over an **hour.**_

_"You guys are **AWFUL!**" she snapped at him, he just stared at her angry face in confusion, an decided to walk away after that._

_"HEY! Answer me, why were you taking so long to open the door?" she wiped her skirt and walked in with her shopping bags and her bottle of sake._

_"We were, eh...sleeping?" he suggested nonchalantly._

_She wanted to tease them **so** bad, but chose not to, since she was tired as hell. _

_On the couch in the living room, Tatsuki was watching television. Giving the sign that she had absolutely nothing better to do._

_After Rangiku poured herself some sake, she sat next to her friend._

_"What're you watching?" _

_"It's a date-quiz or something stupid like that." she replied lazily to the blonde's question._

_The commercials were up, and since Matsumoto didn't know what the hell the program was about, seeing she missed half of it, she asked._

_"So, how does it work?"_

_Tatsuki pushed herself up from her lounging pose, sat straight and took a deep breath._

_"They take a just married couple and ask them load of questions, and if they get over 1000 point, they advance to the next round." she paused to see if Rangiku had any trouble following._

_"And then the final two couples are kinda 'battling' for a second honeymoon or alot of money."_

_"Ooooh, that sounds fun!"_

_"No it's not, it breaks up alot of relationships y'know?"_

_That brought the idea to her, an incredibly devilish, sly and horribly funny (for Kami ofcourse) idea._

* * *

><p>That incredibly sly smile and those bright blue eyes glimmering with an suspicious form of happiness. That very face was well-known. That face meant trouble to the Tenth-division captain.<p>

_This can't be good. _he agonized in his mind.

He knew nobody knew why he was drowning in his well of self-pity again. But he just knew by looking at her face the moment she stepped trough the door, something was going to happen, and with Yachiru skipping behind her, it_ would_ be bad.

"I feel something." Yachiru suddenly spoke. she was looking around her like a meercat who just heard a twig snap in half.

"What do you mean?" he asked her.

"I have a sixth sense you know."

Toshirou already know what kind of thing she would say, like sensing cake or something like that. So he decided to just let it go. But Karin **had** to ask.

"I can predict when blood will flow, and in about ten minutes somebody is going to_ bleed_." she used her child-like voice, to make it _scarier_.

With that said, Toshirou just wanted to get up and walk away, but Matsumoto insisted that he would stay. She had some fun planned out, and they had to wait for Rukia and Ichigo.

"Yes, I'll just _try_ to act like I didn't hear that."

After another awkward minute of silence, the mentioned couple showed up.

"So, what's this about?" the grumpier one started.

"We have something fun for you guys!"

Rukia furrowed her brows, "What kind of _fun_?"

Yachiru pulled out a big red box out of Rangiku's bag. It had a wedding-cake and an anime-style drawn married couple on it. It said "Just-Married Game" on it with big white decorative letters.

"What is this ?"

"This is the game you'll be playing," Yachiru started "And it's gonna be fun!" Rangiku finished

"Kami, why are you so cruel to me, what did I ever to to you?" Ichigo muttered under his breath. And a _certain _Kurosaki heard him.

"Ichigo, how about you_ shut the **hell**_ up and sit your ass down."

So he did as he was told, he shut the hell up and sat his ass down.

* * *

><p>Now, Rangiku and Yachiru were setting up the game, handing everyone 15 cardboards. They were all done when Rangiku was about to explain the game rules. But before she even had the chance, Karin flinched.<p>

Why you ask?

Well, something told her there was a _disturbance_ in the force... Well, in the house.

"Rukia, did you use my shampoo ?" she asked quickly, almost not understandable.

"No, I didn't, why do you ask?"

Yachiru's hand twitched. "Two minutes." she whispered to Toshirou, who wasn't sure about what she was talking about.. So he just sighed in reply.

Meanwhile Karin had a bad feeling about the situation, something was wrong. S_omebody_ broke a rule. Karin got up, walked down the hall to the bathroom. In 15 seconds flat she managed to let out an incredibly angry war-cry and get back into the living room to scare the hell outta everyone.

"**_Who_** cleared my coconut-shampoo?"she breathed out with an tinge of annoyance. Her vision was blurred with anger and she was about to **kill**. It was clear someone broke a rule. To her, her shampoo was a very important item, seeing she doesn't care about beauty-products that much, it had to be special for that matter.

If fire breathing dragons would exist, Karin would look like their mothers at the moment, she succeeded in keeping her voice as low and less intimidating as she could. But her face was speaking books, and those books were probably written by somebody who had either a anger-issue or an addiction to killing. But it could be Kenpachi who wrote them for all we know.

_That face_, it spoke... _**Kill the guilty one.**_

Unfortunately for Ichigo, he **_didn't_** see her face.

"I stepped on that white stupid bottle and it squirted on the wall so-"

With a '_little_' more force then needed she punched her brother on his nose, sending him flying to the wall. It was so fast it left everyone in shock. Ichigo recovered withing a matter of seconds, blood gushing out of his nostrils he watched as he raging sister approached him, ready to kill.

"_Rule number fucking 4, If you use my goddamned **shampoo, **you** fucking DIE!**_"

This was clearly a losing battle for Ichigo, kinda like Wendy and Eric...And we all know _who_ lost that one. But being as stubborn as he is Ichigo didn't say sorry of something like that, he just prepared to block her other attack, until the sound of Rukia's voice telling her to stop behind her, broke her concentration and she hit a crack in the wall behind him.

Yachiru seemed happier then ever with the bloodshed. "Told you so!"

The young captain next to her was very disturbed by this. Ichigo almost got his face remodeled for him, and she was being... happy?

"_**What**_ do you _**want**_?" she snapped at her sister in law.

"He didn't use it, he just had an accident."she tried to lighten up, but it didn't work. so to sooth the situation she used something else. "I'll buy you a new one. Just_ please_ don't break his jaws." she pleaded.

Karin seemed to calm down. Rukia's attempt to soothing the situation, seemed to have worked. The young girl let go of her brother's shirt and lowered her fist to her hips. Her breathing-pace slowed down and her blurry red vision disappeared. She allowed her sister in law to guide her back to the table, where everyone just pretended that two seconds ago just didn't happen. _Except_ for Yachiru of course, her prediction of bloodshed came out.

After letting the situation snk in, he decided that as long as he was in her house, he had to follow her rules. But if he ever got out of there... _Kami, I hate you so much. _Ichigo cursed in his mind as he wiped his nose.

Karin smiled, "Sorry 'bout that, let's continue the game ne?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: _**_That was a short chapter I know. But it was kinda to introduce the game without having the chapter all crappy and short._

_R&R Baby._


	8. Authors Note

**_Authors note:_**

_To be honest, this is a story I hoped never ever to write an authors note for, but I have to._

_Because I need help!_

_I cannot come up with any ideas for the next chapter and it pisses me off beyond fucking believe._

_I really need you guys to support me and/or give me ideas for the next chapter, after that I guarantee everything will run smoothly because I already wrote like the two chapters after this one. _

_What I can tell you is that we still have like: 5/6 chapters until the end._

_Well, that was it. Now let me drabble, eat KCF and be pissed!_

_X-Taka_


	9. Da Gaim!

_**A/N:** I just wanted to say that I love all you reviewers. ILY guys; a quick shot-out to all my reviewers, 'speacially; 1BleachFan and OnepieceX3. All you amazing Dudes and Dudettes... You guys are awesome and help me better my stories by being so nice._

_Well, let's get you to chapter 8;_

* * *

><p>Matsumoto planned it all out like the sly little demon she is, but that's what Kami loves about her, she's probably the best pawn I-err I mean <em>Kami<em> ever had. So she took out a piece of paper out of the box where supposedly all the rules were written. But Yachiru insisted on explaining the rules since the rules on the original sheet were just plain boring.

"Well, this is gonna be a long one so listen good, the game has three rounds. Round one; the silent round. You guys choose a partner to answer all the question we will be askin', the others write their answers on the small white-board thingies we're gonna give you. And when your answer is right, you get ten points. Any questions so far?"

Ichigo raised his hand. Yachiru nodded at him.

"Can we stop this and just watch TV?"

"No, let's start round one."

Rangiku handed Karin a marker and a white-board over. "Who will answer the questions?"

"Snowflake will." she tested the marker by scrabbling with it on her hand.

"Ichigo will too."

Toushirou knew better then to argue with Karin but he had to know, "Why me?"

"Because I said so." she replied nonchalantly.

"That's unreasonable logic." he stated, to which Ichigo agreed.

She faked a big smiled. "How's this for ya; _shut up_."

Suddenly, Ichigo had the best idea he could ever come up with, maybe to make the game more interesting then it already was. He rubbed his hand together. "Hey Toushirou, I have a proposition for ya."

"And what would that be?"

"If Rukia and I win, you have to go to the beach on Friday, but if we lose, you don't."

He looked at Karin, she approved.

"That's a challenge I'll except."

Rangiku smiled "Great! So let's begin!"

* * *

><p>Yachiru gave Rangiku a card.<p>

"Question one, this one is easy; what's your partner's favorite thing to do."

"Write down your answers."

Rukia scrabbled the answer on the white-board as fast as she could, and made sure nobody saw it.

Karin smiled when she was done, she knew that Toushirou would _never_ guess it, she would cheat. they would lose, and he would go to the beach on Friday.

Easy, except for that fact that he caught wind of her 'oh so sly' little plan.

"Okay, Ichigo what's your answer?"

He shrugged, "I dunno, shopping?"

Rangiku nodded as a signal for Rukia to show her answer, to everyone surprise Ichigo's answer was correct, he was going A-OK.

"Captain, what is your answer?"

"Injuring either me or other members of the Soul Society. Either or, injuring is the answer."

Karin twitched her eyes, fighting was the correct answer, it's not like she injured people for fun...She just liked fighting, and that injuring completes the process was not her fault! But Yachiru decided that "injuring" was correct too.

Yachiru got a question-card handed over to her; "What is the_ one_ thing your partner hates about herself?" she read out loud.

Ichigo smiled, this was a easy one. "That she's _way~_ too short for her age."

"He's right," she growled "but it doesn't keep me from giving you a as kicking." The little squabble about vice-captain continued, but didn't last long since Karin gave her brother a head slap to prevent their stupid conversation from running out of hand.

_Oh those two, they're so funny!_ "Captain?"

Toshirou folded his hands,"She's too violent." He was already prepared to be attacked, but that never came. And unfortunately, his answer was false. "The right answer was; that she has a problem with anger. That is _not_ the same captain." Rangiku shook her head with dissapointment. "Na-ah captain I thought you were smarter."

"How is it not the same? I mean-"

"It was false! That made the score ten to twenty for team IchiRuki," Yachiru announced, trying to imitate a commentator's voice, which was working out very well. "team HitsuKarin is really fallin' back, Rangiku?"

Karin furrowed her brows, "Team HitsuKarin?" she murmured with confusion.

"Certainly Yachiru, we hope they will do better next question. Will you do us the favor of reading it to our lovely candidates? Now for the personal questions. We'll ask you personally, and not at the same time."

This made Ichigo very happy, team IchiRuki was winning. That meant Hitsugaya would lose the bet and that meant, _that I'm not alone with these fuckin' crazy chicks all weekend!_ Ichigo cheered mentally.

"Next question this one if for you captain,"she scraped her throat "If the world was overrun by zombies, you had no shinigami powers and you had the chance to save either Karin or Momo, who would you choose?"

He gulped, "What now?"

Rangiku smiled and repeated her question, "I said, if the world was overrun by zombies, you had no shinigami powers and you had the chance to save either Karin or Momo, who would you choose?"

"Eh," he hesitated to answer, how_ could_ he answer? He loves Karin, but then again Momo is his best friend... He pictured it all,

_A pool of blood surrounded Karin's feet, she had just killed another one. Momo was getting attacked by those dirty corpses so fast, Karin even insisted that if she would not become useful, she'd kill her. And once again, Momo was acting like a helpless child. Karin kicked the one, whom grabbed her, to the head, making it hit the ground faster then a rock._

_"God-fucking-dammit Momo, this is the ninth time today! If you get caught by another one, I will let it kill you, and use your body as bait!"_

_Momo blinked with tears, she had just lost her bat. The only weapon suitable for her. So she was useless once more._

_"Are you listing at all?" She gripped the collar of her grey school uniform, Momo stared at her in fear. Of being hurt by the superior girl. "You fuckin' bitch, this here," she shoved her bloody hands in Momo's face, she gripped the short girl's cheek threateningly her fingers left ten bloody trails on her face "is **my** life on the line for you, you weak little whore!" She threw her hand in the air "I will **not** stand for this, you go die on you fuckin' own! I'm done protecting you." she yelled, gripping her collar._

_"That's enough," the white-haired teen warned her."let her go."_

_Karin threw the young girl on the floor like she ws just a piece of thrash, "Whatever, captain." she spat at him._

_Momo picked herself up, sh was not going to let this happen again. "Don't you ever touch me again, or I'll kill you!" she yelled, her voice was quivering with a mixture of anger and fear. "I'm not afraid of you anymore!"_

_Karin laughed at her, she had changed from a normally strong, tranquil girl to a killing maniac and extreme protector because of this whole mess. And Momo would want to kill her? "You wouldn't last five seconds without me around, and you don't have the guts for it Hinamori" she smiled wickedly, giving Momo the chills "-kun." Karin added mockingly._

_She was extremely dangerous without a weapon, and whover had to balls to step against her, would either lose them or lose their lives. Seeing there were only 3 of them left, there had to be a lot of idiot with them._

_Momo stood in her fighting stance. _

_"Momo, don't do this. Not here." Toushirou soothed the almost electric stare between the two women. A loud bang caught their attention, from everywhere, zombies began lugging towards them. Karin already started to attack them, Toushirou joined in._

_Ten down. _

_Momo grabbed a metal rod standing against the wall, and started attacking them._

_Soon, she was grabbed from behind._

_Pale creatures with pupil-less glowing white eyes pulling at Momo's arm trying to get her off her feet. One tried to bite her, but she had just enough force to push his face away from her neck. Karin tried to help her, and so she lost her concentration and dropped her guard. Another groaning corpse grabbed Karin's feet, making her fall to the ground. Groaning and unintelligible syllables rang his ears. Both calling out for help to him._

_"Shirou-chan!" the brown-eyed girl called out for her friend to save her, she stretched her arm out for him to pull her back to him. Trying to snatch her arm back from the corpse holding her in it's grasp. "Hinamori!" he would call back to her, stretching his arm out dramatically, attempting to get to hers. _

_"Toushirou!" another black-haired girl called out, trying to kick off the dead man clinging to her. __"Karin!" __She gripped his leg, trying to get him to help her. He fell, his concentration on Momo broke. Both calling out to him; "Shirou!" one would shout desperately for him to save her, "Toushirou!" the other would beg for help._

_"Shirou!"_

_"Help me!"_

_"Shirou, please!"_

_The girls were getting tired and could no longer keep back the zombies, just one centimeter and one of the most important women in his life would be dead. That is if he would safe one. He looked once more._

_"No, stay back... you fuckin' dirty monster! Don't touch me!" Karin kept kicking the bony hands off her feet, she was almost succeeding._

_"**YAAAA!**"[1]_

His thougts faded away with a snap of Rukia's finger in front of his face. "Are you okay, you spaced out on us."

"Oh, sorry. I would safe Momo" he replied, with a rather pale face. Ichigo frowned at his answer, "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Toushirou moved an inch away from Karin. She was smiling that way again, so before she'd kill him "Momo is more fragile then Karin is, and in my head. I think Karin would destroy them."

Karin smiled and turned around her white board, 'Hinamori' was written on it. "I thought he would safe Hinamori-san."

Yachiru came out of no where with a hairbrush, imitating a voice again."That is another ten points for eam HitsuKarin! The score is twenty-twenty now. Let's get onto the juicier stuff shall we?"

Rangiku smiled, "The next questions contain some really embarrasing ones. Consider youself warned."

* * *

><p><em>AN: I totally got the question about Momo and Karin from a reviewer; Shiningheart of ThunderClan. Xe made is all possible!_

_Well, This chapter will probably be a 3-parter._

_[1] Often when a Japanese girl in manga is about to get attacked they scream NO! And they scream (In Japanese) Yamero of just Yaaaa. You can hear it right here (youtube).com/watch?v=XsRHJTm3oG8&feature=related if you skip to 9:32. That's what it's supposed to sound like._

_I'm thinking about making a story about the whole zombie thing...What do you think. _

_R&R..._


	10. We're Winning!

_**A/N:** I love to singa! About the moona anda Juna anda Springa! I love to singa!_

_This chapter contains some sexual comments. Readers' discretion is advised._

* * *

><p>"Question for team IchiRuki!" Yachiru announced. Rukia wasn't paying any attention, her mind was all to drawing Chappy on her white board.<p>

Ichigo noticed it and snickered softly, her lack of drawing talent is one of best forms of amusement.

The deformed head and marble eyes with long stick-like eyelashes were the funniest. The upside down triangle-shaped mouth wasn't unfunny either.

"What is your answer Ichigo?" Rangiku asked out of the blue.

"Huh, what?" he asked.

"You guys really have the tendency to space out on us." Yachiru shook her head with disappointment.

"Sorry, could'ya ask the question again?"

"The question was; what is Rukia's favorite position?" he could hear Karin trying to hold back her laughing and Toushirou's soft snorting and snickering.

"What kind of question is that!" he exclaimed angrily and somewhat embarrassed and disturbed.

Rukia's face flushed, but she decided to write down her answer next to her Chappy drawing.

Ichigo noticed it, was she serious about this? This was a total invasion of their privacy!

"What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled at her.

She scoffed "What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" he wanted to answer the rhetorical question, but she cut him off before he had the chance.

"I'm writing down my answer." she continued with her answer, ignoring the Ichigo's poor attempts at getting another question.

"Ichigo, you answer?"

He started to think, but nothing really came to mind. "I don't know really," he pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Fuck it, I'm just going to say something._ "Missionary?"

He had fingers crossed, they _had_ to win this stupid game.

"Your answer is correct." Rangiku said, somehow surprised. "That's another ten points for IchiRuki."

"The score is now thirty-twenty for IchiRuki. But anythin' can happen."

Rangiku turned her attention to the other side, looking angry Hitsugaya's angry face. It just made her laugh; to see how badly he wanted to walk away from the table.

"Question for team HitsuKarin; where is the weirdest place you guys had sex?"

Karin almost choked. "What!" it was funny when it happened to other people, but if your brother points at you and laughs...you get angry.

Rukia was chuckling too which was only natural, but Ichigo was just dying of laughter.

The orange-haired shinigami eyes were weeping when he was laughing. Small cries of "Ow my stomach" or "Praise Kami" made Karin even angrier. His laughter rang her ears every millisecond.

He wiped his eyes, still chuckling. "Karma is the best thing." he put his flat hands together, looking up to the ceiling. "Karma, I love you." he muttered. Rukia elbowed him in the side, "But not as much as I love Rukia though." he said, to her satisfaction.

"Ya done?" she asked calmly.

"Yeah, I'm done." he replied. He breathed in slowly. Then he frowned again.

"Captain Hitsugaya, your answer?"

He gulped, _what am I going to say? We have to win this, we just **have** to. _He muttered an answer as quickly as he could, Yachiru coulnd't hear it, so she asked him to repeat.

"At the Tenth Squad barracks," he sighed and rested his face in his hand "on my desk.." he finished his answer.

Rangiku smiled, "Wow! Captain, I never thought-" the mentioned male threw a pillow to his lieutenant's face. "Shut up Matusmoto, I'm not in the mood for this.."

She threw her hair back, "What _are_ you in the mood for?" she teased.

Their argument got back and forward, it pissed Ichigo off.

"Okay! Enough of the teasing, is his answer right or not?"

Yachiru was suddenly next to Karin and checked her answer. "No, he's got it wrong. Which means team IchiRuki's winnin'."

Rukia got curious, "What was the right answer?"

Yachiru read out loud; "On the kitchen table in Ichigo's house."

The orange-haired shinigami chocked on air. "Say what?"

Rukia was shocked. They fucked in their house, in the kitchen. On the table where they..._ eat._

_Wait...What?_

"Oh _**hell**_ no!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** OMG, This three-prater wil be over soon the last chapter is going to be X-tra long. I promise at leat 4000 words ;] Hope you liked._

_For now, Team IchiRuki is winning! Who would you like to win? Team IchiRuki or Team HitsuKarin._

_Review your answer._


	11. We Won, Which Means You Lose!

_**A/N:** __This chapter contains some drinking and drugs. Readers' discretion is advised._

* * *

><p>Rukia shot put from her seat. "Why would you do that? That's fucking disgusting Karin!" she yelled, this had to be at least the second time she ever swore in her life.<p>

"Rukia, chill." she soothed, Rukia was still tensed. "That's not what it said at all. It was on the floor not the table."

"Oh, really? Okay then."

Ichigo gawked, "No it's not okay," he protested. Nobody seemed to really care about it. "how can you think this is okay?" Ichigo continued cursing.

Karin frowned,"Ichigo sit your ass down, Rangiku please continue."

"Now for the best part, it's the drinking round!"

Toushirou turned away from the table, "this is the line." he started to walk away, only to be stopped by Yachiru.

"If ya go now, ya lose." she said nonchalantly.

_"If Rukia and I win, you have to go to the beach on Friday, but if we lose, you don't." _Ichigo's voice echoed trough his head. He gave into the fear.

"Okay," he re-took his place at the table, "let's begin with this thing..Fast."

* * *

><p>Rangiku was prepared, very prepared. Five bottles of sake, four flat cups. And of course Yachiru brought some sort powder she got out of Captain Kurotsutchi's lab.<p>

Yachiru actually had no good reason to do so, but she did had one reason. She took it simply because it was 'pretty'.

Mayuri did explain it to her, but she didn't get it and took it anyways.

Matsumoto poured the sake into the cups for her candidates. "This will be fun, believe me." she commented several times, much to her captain's dismay. He didn't like drinking, he didn't like sake..but for the sake of his goddamn rest, he had to do it.

"Let's start the fuckin' thing already, you're pissing me off." Ichigo snapped.

"What is **not** pissing you off?" Rukia asked rhetorically.

"She's right, you're probably the naggiest old women I've ever met." his sister broke in. He groaned, they always teamed up on him.

Karin sat across the table, looking at her brother with a satisfied expression plastered on her face. "Well brother, this will be the ultimate challenge. I've been waiting for this for a long time."

He wiped the liquid from the edge of his flat cup, "This is the one area I lose, but Rukia will compensate."

Rukia sat watching the siblings silently. "Will somebody shut them up?" a low voice from across the table called, she turned her head to Hitsugaya.

Yachiru clapped her hands together forcefully, earning attention. "Let's begin! Shot one."

The quartet drunk their glasses up simultaneously. They continued drinking as Rangiku kept filling their glasses.

_Fifteen glasses later..._

Ichigo was struggling to keep his vomit in. It seemed like the orange-haired shinigami was having more trouble then he expected. Karin was doing just great and Toushirou was tipsy...very tipsy. And Rukia, well aside from having a drunken blush on her face, she was functioning.

_Another fifteen glasses later..._

Ichigo gave up, he couldn't take it anymore, the sake, the scent the vomit. He raised the flag

"And Ichigo from team IchiRuki is DOWN!" Yachiru announced. Rangiku finished,"But team IchiRuki earned thirty points for thirty shots of sake, let's continue."

_Another shot later..._

Rangiku was amusing herself by taping the whole process, and Yachiru did something bad. The little bag of pink powder was emptied in the bottle when she had to pour it out for Rukia and Karin.

One whole gram of powder was knocked into the bottle of sake. Not really thinking, Yachiru just gave Karin and Rukia their shots. Meanwhile Hitsugaya was refusing to drink anymore, which brought it down to Karin and Rukia.

_The last shot..._

"Until now, Karin and Rukia had sixty shots of sake. Which makes the scoreboard change to ninety-ninety for team IchiRuki. This last shot will determine the winner!"

While the competition was going on, Ichigo sobered up and so did Toushirou.

"Oi Rumia, did ya know that there'sa guy with orange hair sittin' behind ya?"

Rukia turned around, her eyes were half closed and she squinted to see if Karin's words were true.

"Yeah, You know...I think I slept with that guy." she pointed to Ichigo with her thumb, Karin broke into uncontrollable laughter.

"I think...I think.." she started, "Everything is yellow now...wait green...no everthin' is red now!" she yelled out.

"Hey Kalin, the guy with the purple hair is staring at you~." she whispered loudly.

"Purple?" she looked around "Where do ya see someone with purple hair?"

"Behind me~" she sung.

"Hey, I think I slept with that guy!"

"BUNNY!" Rukia screamed as she tackled Ichigo, she snuggled close to him. "Who's a cute bunny?"

Karin smiled at herself, not entirely knowing why. Then she noticed her cup of sake. "Hey, sake!" she picked it up carefully.

_"That's it, almost there."_

She brought the cup closer to her mouth...

BANG!

"Goddamnit, we lost!"

"Ah, I dropped it..." the girl said sadly.

The oldest Kurosaki cheered mentally as Rukia continued to snuggle to his chest "Look Rukia, _sake_." he pointed while wiggling his finger. The short girl paid close attention to it and moved her head while following the finger's movement.

"_Sake_.." she mimicked while following the direction to which Ichigo was pointing.

Her hands met the cup...her cup met her lips. She slowly drank the glass empty. She soughed after drinking it, "That was nice.."

"Ichiruki WINS!" Yachiru announced happily.

The look on his face was indescribable, let's say that it looked like a fat kid whom was told that Christmas came early.

_"**Fuck yeah**!"_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **I hope you like the last chapter of the whole game thing, I promised a 4000 word one. But I'm too fucking lazy, so next time...I will stay up until I finish a killer chapter with 4000 words. _


	12. Deserters

_**A/N:** __This chapter contains some sexual -comments- stuff. Readers' discretion is advised._

* * *

><p>"You did it, you fuckin' did it!" Rukia wasn't quite sure what she did, but Ichigo was happy about it. Her eyes were fixated on her glass. Karin sat across the table, one half eye closed and her upper body moved from side to side, not really knowing she did it, she kept wondering why the everthing was moving.<p>

Ichigo was too happy to win that he forgot all about the fact that these two could be really annoying when drunk.

"There'sa midget behin' ya do ya see the midget? " Karin asked Rukia, whom was half spaced out. She was clearly referring to Hitsugaya. He groaned, they always had their stupid drunken conversations.

Rukia looked behind her, waving to Toushirou,"Hello leprechaun!"

"He's not a leprechaun, he's a midget." Karin noted, to which Rukia shrugged.

_Silence..._

"Same thing.." she commented after a while.

Now the only 'sane' people were Toushirou and Ichigo. Once the substitute was done celebrating, he knew there was a problem...

Rangiku and Yachiru were _gone_, leaving them alone with two extremely dangerous, hot-headed female shinigami.

"Deserters." he hissed softly. What would happen now? They had wierd their phases, five of them to be exact.

It started with their drunken conversation, followed by their quest for booze. After that they would just give up on the quest and just roll on the floor laughing without a particular reason.

Then there was the worst phase, they would touch, anything that came near them. Rukia had the habit of pulling Ichigo's hair, she would pet his head first and then she would pull as hard as she could.

Then there was phase five, they would fall asleep at the most random places.

"Rumya," Karin started, laughing, "let's get more party... for the booze?"

Toushirou sighed once more, "What are they on?"

"Hey you!" Ichigo turned around to face Rukia, "Dude with the pointy orange hair."

He blinked. Rukia was stumbling towards him, obviously wanting something.

"Where's the party?"

"The party?" he questioned, she nodded."We need more party for the booze."

"Party for the booze." he repeated dumbfounded, she nodded. Ichigo had a blank expression written on his face, which triggered Rukia's anger for some reason. Probably because she wanted him to understand so badly what she meant.

"Party!" she shouted angrily, "You know the stuff you can drink! Alcohol!" she explained.

"We don't have anymore party Rukia." he lied, well it was to prevent any trouble. Then it's okay to lie right?

The short girl pouted lazily, as soon as she made her way back to the table she broke into laughter. Karin snickered along with her, not entirely knowing the reason of their laughter. "Man I have no idea what's going on."

"Me neither." Hitsugaya muttered under his breath. How long has it been? Fifteen minutes? And he couldn't even handle them.

"Rumya, let's go buy some party at the store."

The oldest Kurosaki forbade it immediately, letting two drunk shinigami alone on the streets to buy 'party' was probably the dumbest plan anyone could ever come up with."No, You stay."

"Why not?" Karin asked curiously, batting her eyelashed she hoped he would change his mind. But no, being the persistent bastard he is, he had to take away their smallest ounces of fun.

Ichigo's explanation was easy, "Because I said so."

"You're not my dad!" she shrieked. The shorter women pointed her finger at his nose accusingly, standing right before him. He pushed away her small shaking hand with ease.

"But I'm your brother, therefore I say you stay right here."

"You're my brother?" she asked, Ichigo sighed. _Jesus Christ what was in that sake?_ "Yes." he answered, rolling his eyes at her. "Oh, I didn't know that." But then again she was drunk, being or acting stupid when drunk was a normal thing. She let her body give into gravity, letting herself fall on the floor.

"Is she sleeping?" Hitsugaya asked from behind the couch, leaning his arm on it. Ichigo shook his head, she was smiling and rubbing her face with her arms together in a very cat-like way. "No, she's acting like a cat."

She chuckeled suddenly, "Hey, this carpet is comfortable." she said as she rubbed the tatami floor. Ichigo raised his eyebrow with confusion, _what carpet?_ he asked himself. The young girl just kept rambling about how how comfortable it was and started rubbing her face on the floor. Rukia joined it, saying her words were true, "Yeah, like rabbit-fur." The orange-haired substitute cursed Matsumoto's name softly. Look what she did? She made two of the most dangerous women on the planet drunk, and left_ him_ alone with them. Toushirou figured out what was going to make this easier.

He took a glass of cold water from the kitchen,"Hey look, here's some party." he announced dryly.

"Party?" the two drunken girls turned their attention to him, looking at the transparent glass as if it was their prey. "Party!" they both ran to him, trying to get a hold of the glass. Toushirou was very prepared for this and splashed the full glass on their faces, hoping it would help them sober up. Or maybe they would bump their heads into each other and fall asleep. Whatever it was that would help.

"Hey!" the two exclaimed angrily, their wet hair hung in their faces. They were not happy about the captain's plan, no not at all. "What did you do that for?" Kuchiki yelled furiously. He shrugged "I'm out of ideas."

Meanwhile, Karin found herself a new form of entertainment. "Hey Rumya," the short Kuchiki turned her attention to Karin, whom appeared to be fondling her breasts for some odd reason. "this is fun, do it too."

"Really?" Rukia asked, Karin nodded as she listed her wet red shirt over her head, "One two, cha-cha-cha." she sung happily. "Push push, boing-boing-boing!" she smiled at herself. "It sounds great right? _Boing!_"

Rukia did the same, only her song was slightly different. "One two, pyon-pyon-pyon."

"One two, Ru-ki-a."

"That's it Rumya!" Karin encouraged. They sang their little song happily as they were amusing themselves with their bosoms. Captain Hitsugaya seemed to have no problem with it at all, Ichigo was making a fuss about it. But then again, he was related to one of them. And seeing you sister playing with her breasts and singing 'one two cha-cha-cha' while doing so, wasn't exactly what most brothers would enjoy.

"Stop that," Ichigo piped in with a disturbed blush creeping on his face as he watched Rukia, "You're embarrassing youselves." Well, that wasn't exactly it, he was probably more embarrassed about watching them then both of them were about actually doing it.. But what can you say, they were drunk.

"Na-ah, you're just angry because you can't do it."

"W-What?"

"Because you don't have boobs." Karin stated the obvious. Her eyes were half closed as she stared him down.

_I'm tired._

"I _know_ I don't." She yawned loudly as she stretched her arms, walking to the hallway. A loud thump signaled she was either sleeping on the ground or sleeping with her head against the wall. _One down._ Ichigo cheered mentally.

Kuchiki on the other hand wasn't listening to their squabble anymore, she was fixated on Ichigo's hair color, how it shone in the light. "Orange.." she whispered slowly. Ichigo heard this and shook his head, this was going to be a horrible experience.

"Toushirou give me something to cover my head with." he whispered cautiously, never looking away from Rukia.

Hitsugaya frowned at him, the vain on his forehead was practically visible from the moon, he was calling him by his name again despising the fact he told Ichigo hundredths and thousands of times he had to call him captain,"It's not To-"

Before he could even finish his correction, Ichigo almost begged, "I'm serious, she's going to pull my hair." She crawled closer, eyes still fixated on his spiky hair. Toushirou snorted, "Why would I listen to you? You never listen to me."

Rukia's predator smile was growing, her urge to pull his hair was too. "Don't be **_that_ **guy right now." Ichigo pleaded. Hitsugaya was enjoying this, he smirked at the scene playing before his eyes, "I'm being **_that_** guy right now."

"Orange.." she whispered lustfully, he took a step back as she crawled closer to him, gesturing grabbing with her hands. "Orange.." She whispered once more, the substitute stood back to the wall. _Oh Kami please make her fall asleep._

**"ORANGE!"**

* * *

><p>A busty blonde and a pinkette girl were making their way towards Arisawa resident. They had fun, but it was time to do their 'nap-nap time' as Yachiru liked to call it. Even though she was seventeen in age<em> -in human years- <em>she still communicated like a child. Other then that Yachiru called it 'nap-nap time' Matsumoto agreed that it was late and she was tired as hell.

The two stood before the closed door of the house, the lights were off that meant that Tatsuki was either sleeping or gone. And seeing that she wasn't a type for going out on Sunday nights, she would be asleep. And the both of them knew better then to wake her up from sleeping, for a fourth-seat shinigami she is really tough. She is tougher then most third-seats were combined, and that would say something.

So there wasn't really any other option but to break into the house from the back, get in through a window and pretend that had keys. It wasn't planned out precisely, but it had a chance of working. Anything was better then sleeping outside in the dark. Even if it was summer, it was cold too. And being Rangiku, you have to have a nice, warm, soft and comfortable bed to sleep in. Nothing else would work.

"That's a good idea boobies," Yachiru complimented, the plan was impressive. It would work for them because seriously, the question is not: what _can_ shinigami do, but what **_can't_** shinigami do?

"But how do we open the window without breakin' it?" she questioned, that was probably the biggest gap in the plan.

"I have no idea." she clearly had no backup for this whatsoever, but they _had_ to get in. This was necessary goddammit! We cannot have the most beautiful woman in the world sleep outside! That is blasphemy, you're against God if you would let her sleep in the cold dark night.

"I have an idea."

Rangiku's eyes widened, she was really getting tired so she had to get inside quickly. "Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, remember how Tatsuki told us she always leaves her windows open." Matusmoto grinned as she nodded heavily, this was going the right way, so far there were no gaps in Yachiru's plan.

"How 'bout we climb trough there and then one of us opens the door for the other one?" Rangiku's face fell like a brick hit the floor, this girl was trying to get them killed faster then a rookie around Kenpachi. This was Tatsuki they were talking about! She would crack open an eye, and kill them as soon as she saw their shadows. "Ya serious?"

"Whatddaya mean?" the youngest asked smiling.

"You know what, we can_ try_ to make this work." the busty blonde suggested with a frown.

"Yay!" she cheered.

Yachiru tried to climb on the brick wall first, but failed since she was in a faux body.. And because of the fact that whether you're a shinigami or a human, you can't climb a vapid surface. "I can't climb up~!" she whined childishly. Rangiku sighed at her density as she rested her face in her hand.

Then she noticed the drainpipe,_ maybe I can... _She walked up to it, seeing the way it was fixed to the wall. "I can jump up, and then I can hold onto it to climb trough the window." she suggested in a whisper to herself.

"I did it!" a high-pitched voice yelled from above her, there was Yachiru.. Sitting on the brickwork under the window frame, waving to the lieutenant.

"Or not."

Yachiru turned her head watched inside the room silently, her cheeks grew red as she did. "Rangiku you have to see this."

"What is it?" she asked curiously, if it was enough to make Yachiru blush and silent like this, it had to be good.

Rangiku launched herself up with a hop, holding onto Yachiru's hand. She pulled herself up as the quite disturbing and amusing image reached her eyes.

"I'm going to put this on the internet," she plotted slyly, "I'm gonna make **_so_ **much fucking money."

She pulled the small cellphone out of her pocket, trying to film the scene.

_Crack! _

Yachiru saw it, a wide crack in the masonry. "B-Boobies...?"

"Not now Yachi," she said noncalantly, "I'm makin' myself some money now."

Yachiru tried to sound as serious as possible, which Rangiku didn't notice..."Matsumoto, seriously!"

_Crack!_

Another crack caused them to jump slightly, but unfortunately for them the masonry couldn't hold that...

_Bang!_

"GODDAMMIT!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** I'm so sorry about this chapter, itsa piece of crap I know! I promised 400 words, well sorry. Consider this your Christmas present, You ain't gettin' nothing else! :C_


	13. The Night Is Ovar!

_**A/N:** :D I officially rate this chapter Kinda M_

* * *

><p>"Did'ya hear that?" Renji removed his mouth from the girl under him, whom didn't appreciate the interruption of their passionate lip locking and intimate touching. They were just at the verge of going further. You know, going to the next step. . . And <strong><em>BANG<em>**, all of the sudden a noise makes him stop doing what he was doing. Extremely bothered _-in the wrong way-_and annoyed she gritted her teeth. She knew whom was responsible for this. Non other then the perverted busty blonde: Matsumoto Rangiku and her bubbly friend the pinkette dwarf of Soul Society: Kusajishi Yachiru would do this to her at such crucial fucking moments.

"Hear _what_?" she almost snapped at him, she couldn't believe he had the nerve to even ask her something. And to just ignore them and continue their previous activities, she just decided to pretend she didn't hear it. "I didn't hear _anything._"

A faint cry of pain made him raise his eyebrow at the petite woman, she sighed as he did so. They both knew she couldn't pretend she didn't hear that, it was pretty audible. "Okay. . . I'll go check it out." she cursed softly, making her way to the window she covered her bare skin up with her hands, protecting herself from the cold. She noticed the masonry was. . . gone? She looked down to see the two lieutenants lying on each other, the remaining of the broken masonry lying around them.

"Oh dear god!" Renji almost jumped up as she screamed bloody murder. She was rushing to find her lost clothes on the floor, having her hair tangle in her shirt as she tried to put it on. The redhead was having a hard time figuring out what made her so upset.

"Where are you goin'?"

"Be right back!" she left the room as quick as possible to help them, leaving Abarai still as confused as he was just seconds ago. And being the lazy bastards he is, he didn't even bother looking.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Kurosaki residence the night flew by mighty slow, well for the eldest Kurosaki that was. Ichigo was having the hardest time. It took him half an hour to get Rukia to sleep. And the funny thing was that unlike Karin, whom was sleeping flat on her face, the short Kuchiki was very persistent when she saw something she liked. Her obsession with the color orange knew no boundaries when she was tipsy, she even snuggled with his head for a while, until the liquor got a hold of her making sleepy. . . And eventually knock her out.<p>

So now, his head was aching. She pulled his hair as hard as she could, using all her strength to -probably- pull out his locks. She also liked to comb through his hair with her fingers. . . And worst of all, she would fist his hair with both hands while wiggling on his -almost broken- back. And so she would try to 'drive' him by pulling left and right and screaming; _"Go speedracer, go speedracer **GO**!"_.

Who knew she was capable of that?

And Toushirou, he wasn't helping at all. That goddamn white-haired midget didn't do anything about the torture, he was just sitting there and actually enjoying the show. And Ichigo wanted revenge, he would no longer be the victim of his sisters' cruel and pointless attempts to fuck up is life. The worst thing was she would use _You're my brother, and you're not supposed to hurt me, brothers don't do that. . . Ichi-nii _or_ What would Yuzu say if she saw you fight me? _as any excuse not to fight him when he got really angry. . . She was only a sixthh seat after all, there was no way she could defeat him in actual battle to kill, which was only obvious. . .

But she had a latent talent he couldn't quite figure out. She would just make a face and kinda 'melt his brain' doing so. Or she would to the Retsu-move, smiling at him with that damn soft voice telling him to do something. She even taught Yuzu that move, now there were two Unohana's in the fourth division. Unohana was quit fond of the young girl and even made her fourth seat and leader of the ninth relief team. Her teaching reached a lot of women. Karin was one of the first to know about it. And she did well, she could get even her superiors to their feet, she would teach Rukia soon.

That would mean hell for him.

They probably could've defeated Aizen that way, just letting those three woman stand before him and manipulate him into giving up. That would be so much easier then fighting him the way he had to.

"Oi Ginger, you okay?" that nickname made him groan, he is **_not_** ginger. He has orange hair, that's all. He doesn't have freckles and he can walk in the sun. He turned to Hitsugaya, it seemed that _Dwarfy McMidget_ had found name to call him. It was probably as payback for calling him by his name all the time, so now he would tick Ichigo off by calling him Ginger.

"I'm not ginger." he exclaimed angrily, he was too stubborn and lazy -or maybe just too proud- to just die his hair black and go with the flow. Well, ya have to live with the consequences of being all of the above right?

"Okay, _daywalker_. You okay?" the shorter man approached his brother in law, avoiding Rukia's wild sleeping. She rolled to every possible directions she could moaning unintelligible words. He got to Ichigo, whom was apparently confused about the new nickname the captain just gave him.

"Daywalker?" the substitute questioned, Hitsugaya snorted at his question. That a Ningen didn't know the term was something to laugh about. Weren't they the ones whom were supposed to know all these things?

"Karin and I watched a show the other day," of course he would have it from a television show, daywalker is not a term you would come up with yourself right? "and there was an eight-year old fat boy that explained to his classmates about a disease he made up called: gingervitus."

The short captain explained the term; "And he also said that people whom have the right hair color but not freckles and pale skin are the so called: _daywalkers_ and they don't have to avoid the sun."

The ginger rolled his eyes, "And yes, I'm okay by the way." he announced with weary. He noticed the sudden silence, well except for Rukia's uncontrollable wriggling on the tatami floor. Maybe it was time to put the two to bed, it would be handy to do. If they'd wake up on the floor they'd be angry for sure.

"Let's put them to bed." the short shinigami supposed, to which Ichigo agreed. He stretched his muscles as he stood up, "My thoughts exactly."

* * *

><p>Kami turns the camera back to Tatsuki's house, where Matsumoto and Kusajishi were -luckily- allowed to come inside. They didn't have any wounds, only serious back pain and some scratches on their faces and arms. Tatsuki was extremely angry, oh they could tell she was pissed off for sure. She wouldn't wipe that angry frown off her face and she didn't allow them to talk during her rant. And she didn't want them to ask her <em>anything<em> for the rest of the day -which would end within a matter of minutes- .

Rangiku on the other hand wasn't unhappy because they just got scolded by her. But because of her precious phone. . . It broke when they fell down, making it impossible use the pictures she took for all kinds of evil purposes she couldn't think off.

"You guys fucked up big time." Tatsuki said angrily, and it was true they really did. Not only did they demolished a part of her house, because of her she didn't get laid. How bad was that? Renji seemed not to care about it at all, which was only logical. Seeing he didn't even know what the fuck was going on, why would he give two shits right?

"I'm really sorry Tatsu." Yachiru apologized, at least she was honest. She even tried to warn Matsumoto about the fact that they were crashing, but being as obsessed with money as she is, she didn't listen at the youngster and just continued her vile activities.

"It's okay Yachiru, I'm cooled down now." she took a seat across the table next to Renji, Rangiku still drowning in her well of self pity as she pouted. Tatsuki noticed this and decided to ask about what it was that bothered her like that, "Wazza matter?" she asked her.

She didn't reply, but Yachiru did. "Her phone broke after we fell." Renji raised an eyebrow at her answer, "It's jus' a phone, you can get another one." Yachiru opened her mouth, "Yeah, but she was film-" and so she was quickly cut off by Matsumoto's hand on her mouth. She nervously smiled at the pair sitting across the table.

"What Yachiru is trying to say is. . ." she tried to come up with an excuse, but couldn't come up with one so fast, "goodnight!" With a flash of shunpo, they disappeared. Probably to another part of the house.

_Blink._

"Ha, that was random."

_Blink._

"Hey, let's go back to what we were doing before they got here."

"Lead the way babe."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** :D Let's pretend he never lost his powers._


	14. The Second Week: Monday Morning

_**A/N:** From now there will be six one-or-two-shots representing a day of the week until the beach chapter. Today Imma poke fun at incest._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Monday Morning: Trading Spouses<em>**

It was the most horrible, insulting and utterly annoying morning ever. At least for Ichigo it was, how did he love complaining about things. It was a bad morning for everyone. The two women complained about waking up with a massive hangover, and it was to Toushirou to take care of everything Karin needed. What do we do for love?

Other then it being a immensely irritating morning, it was filled with arguments too, and one led to their current position. The argument itself started out innocent, he had a small disgreement with Toushirou. About what you ask? Well, about whom had the most to worry about, Hitsugaya found it necessary to tell him how troublesome his sister was that morning. Well he knew she was troublesome, but he found Rukia more annoying.

Ichigo was a lot of things he wouldn't agree too, he was ginger, he was weak and oblivious. But he was never accused of not being able to handle his sister. That very statement struck a nerve. He was not letting this get by as easily as the short captain thought he would. So he purposed something he would regret later on.

"How about we trade spouses for on day? See if you can handle Rukia."

"See if_ you_ can handle your own sister." his brother in law nodded as they shook hands, he knew that Karin was way more troublesome then Rukia was. So it was just a fortunate situation. . . Well, for Hitsugaya that was. Even if Ichigo was her brother, he didn't know what kind of twisted sense of humor she had. And she wouldn't let him rest until the day was over.

Oh the fun he would have.

* * *

><p>"I'm in for the spouses thing, it can't be that bad having Ichi-nii as boyfriend." he growled, they were related, it would be extremely disturbing for her to call him that. After what he witnessed the day before. . . The terror, as if he hadn't seen enough horrible things in his life, that had to get on the list.<p>

"Yeah me too, sounds like fun."

Then it was settled, but Kami praise Karin and her dark, twisted and somehow disturbing sense of humor."Rukia, I need to talk to you for a minute." She -apparently- found it necessary to plot their moves. They left the room together as the young shinigami explained her little plan. And as much as Kuchiki hated to admit it, it was a pretty god damn funny thought-out plan.

"Let's start okay?"

Rukia nodded heavily, as they entered Karin and Toushirou's bedroom. Closing the door behind them.

Oh the fun she would have.

* * *

><p>"Oi, Ichigo-chan!"<p>

The loud volume of the voice of his little sister made him turn around, he faced her wit shock written on his face. Having your sister stand before you in a very _revealing_ bathing suit. . . Not a nice thing. So incest was the plan? She was going to poke fun at him for being such a virgin -even if he wasn't really- about it. "Nice, eh? I was thinking about wearing it all day."

"That's your old bathing suit, I know that." he said nonchalantly, but at the same tine somewhat embarrassed of her 'directness'. The ginger cursed under his breath. Jesus Christ who's horrible idea was it to do this? _Oh yeah, it was mine._

Oh, so he was going to play it that way?

"Oh but _nii-sama_, won't like to take it off?" Ichigo rolled his eyes at her, this wasn't going to work. Not from his sister, it was simply repelling and. . . Well, he had not words for it. But it wasn't going to work godammit. Not on him, not because of her.

"Go away Karin." he said quickly, and it seemed to work for once in his life to just send her away.

She frowned,"Geez you're no fun." she walked off to dress up properly, maybe plan B would work. What a pity, she had it all planned out and everything. And he ruined it.

She hoped Rukia had a bit more succeeder then she had.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** :D Let's pretend he never lost his powers._


	15. The Second Week: Monday Afternoon

_**A/N:** :D_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Monday Afternoon: Trading Spouses<em>**

"Oi Ichigo, you don't give me enough attention!"

Oh not this again. . . Why does Kami do this to the poor ginger shinigami? Like his life wasn't fucked up before, now he had to have incestuous conversations with his sister. And she enjoyed making him suffer for it. . . That's what made it all sicker, having her give him sch a hard time during the day. And it seemed Rukia was also up to something, even if he didn't know what. But he didn't trust it. Why, you ask? Well, the answer is mighty simple and also a bit of logic and math; Kuchiki Rukia + Kurosaki Karin = automatic disasters and maybe even cataclysm if you aren't careful with choosing words. Those two would be damned if there was a thing as real justice. But no, the actual tormenting had just begun. Sure, they were extremely dangerous and one of them was slightly aggressive but they were also goddamn sly and knew how to use their brains in a way Ichigo could never understand. They simply called their sick twisted ways; girl power, he called it pure fucking mischievousness and not forget very evil.

But who gave a shit about the poor older brother being taunted -Kami didn't obviously-, it was Monday he had no place to be and neither did his friends. Tomorrow however would be a tad different. But that's another story Kami will tell you another time.

Anyways let's go back to the actual story, Karin hopped gleefully inside of the room, her brother wasn't pleased. Not pleased in the least. She could feel it, he was angry and or annoyed. _Exactly as planned!_ the dark-haired girl cheered in mind.

"Ichigo-chan, what is the matter today?" she pouted as she took a seat next to the older shinigami, he scoffed at her a soon as she did so. He was not in the mood for her pitiful attempts at pissing him off. Though he was angry, but not pissed off yet. And yet would be in a matter of seconds as Karin snaked her arms around her brother, pulling him into a hug.

"Saa," she sighed as he tried to escape from her arms, she ruffled his orange hair as she released him. The expression on his face. . . Priceless! A mixture of anger, confusion and surprise. What a beautiful face he made, it was enough to scare off a bunch of small children. Rangiku would be_ so_ proud of her self proclaimed Kohai for being able to do this, she would surely tell if the blonde would visit soon. "Ichigo-chan. Don't be mad at me."

Then it hit him, why would she do this without a motive? Sure, it was funny. Really, really funny. But there had to be more then that, "Whaddaya want from me!"

He finally got it, "How about we discuss this properly, Ichi-Nii?"

* * *

><p>Toushirou clutched his head, this was so frustrating! Rukia kept hugging him from behind for no reason, crying fake tears, screaming that she carried his child and that he had to step up and be a man. And that she named him Rodriguez and called herself Maria, was making the whole experience way worse then it was supposed to. If Ichigo had to deal with this every waking hour of his life, the poor kid needed some medication to prevent his head from blowing up -or another important body part-. Even if he was a captain and child prodigy, this was too much to handle. She was too clingy, too touchy-feely too. . . There were practically no words for it.<p>

"Rodriguez, por qué!" she demanded, seemingly asking him 'why?' What she was asking or rather demanding was beyond him. It seemed that Rukia improved her Spanish vocabulary though all those novels she read over the time. He rolled his eyes at the exaggerated scene before his eyes, her acting had no actual feelings poured into it. She just threw an all Spanish tantrum to piss him off, and she succeeded.

"Why do you do this to me? Don't you love our niño?" she practically screamed into his sensitive ears. He covered his ears as he faced the short woman. He started into her eyes as he discovered something, there was a reason for this. Feeling mighty awkward under his gaze, she cocked her head as she started to cry once more. Again preaching in Spanish to him, he stopped her as she tried to push him away for dramatic effects.

"Kuchiki, what do you want from me?" he questioned nonchalantly. It was such a simple question, yet it stopped Rukia completely. Almost as if someone turned her into, stone she stood before him. The only movement she made was a twitching right-eye.

Just like _that_! Not even a finger snapped and she stopped!

She proceeded to cease the act of her tantrum in mid-air, her hands dropped. Well, it seemed he ruined the rest of the fun by discovering the hidden innuendo too soon. This all was suddenly too obvious, she sighed. With a fast look on her phone, her lips formed a small smile. With a fast click, they could hear Karin talking," Rin to Ruu, what's your position Ruu?" she asked.

Rukia's face lit up as she answered, "I'm in the living room, Rin. Status report: mission complete."

She could hear the Kurosaki sigh over the phone. A minute earlier and their plan would be fucked up, "Great, I'll be right over, move to phase two. Rin out."

Hitsugaya stared at her in awe, "This is going to be very bad."

And he was so very right about it. . . Like the calculation Ichigo did: Kuchiki Rukia + Kurosaki Karin = automatic disasters. And right they were.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** :D _


	16. The Second Week: Monday Evening

_**A/N: **Sorry about the shortness, I'm tired._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Monday Evening: Demands<em>**

"Come on Ichi-nii, we have to proceed." Karin stood up from her seat as she dusted her clothes, he had no idea what was going on whatsoever so he just followed. He had a bad feeling about the whole thing, and he had every right to have the suspicious feeling. I mean, come on. She was just talking on her phone to Rukia about 'phase two' and seeing phase one was already so very wrong and really uncomfortable. . . Phase two had to be worse.

He followed her to the living room, where the other coupling was already seated across each other. The seated dark-haired girl was already smiling, this would mean no good. Karin took place next to her, pointing at the seat next to Hitusgaya, gesturing her brother should sit. "Well, you probably don't know why you're here," Karin started. Rukia pulled a folded piece of paper out of her jeans, threw it across the table for the two to open. Ichigo unfolded it, their eyes scanned the paper quickly.

His jaw dropped as he mouthed some words he probably re-read. The shorter male just wanted to slam his head in the wall. This was probably once again Rangiku's doing. No doubt in his mind, it had to be. Who else would come up with such stupid requests? If if she wasn't the one who encourage them to do this, she had to be wrapped in this conspiracy _somehow_. And if not, he would find a way to involve her.

"No," he said sternly. "No way in fuckin' hell."

Rukia cocked her head to the side, "You don't have any choice, now do you?" she questioned.

"You can go with this," she pointed at Karin, whom waved at her brother sanctimoniously. He shook his head and returned his eyes to the sheet in front of him. Kami, who could come up with such options, either way it was win-win for the girls. And all those options meant hell for Toshirou and him. Though the stoic captain didn't look like he cared much but deep inside he was dying, just like he was. "or you can go with that." she pointed at the paper he held in his hand.

"The choice is yours~" Karin sung. Well, choices were made.

Toshirou groaned in annoyance, "I go for option two." Ichigo agreed silently, it was the least humiliation and the least painful option. What are all the options, you ask? Well, you there were three options they could choose. There was option one; the act of walking around in woman's clothing. There was also options two, to pose -shirtless- for a photo shoot they would place in Seireitei's Communication Magazine -In exchange for money though-. And option three -this one was purely made up to piss them off- they would have to kiss each other on the lips for ten seconds. You see, the devious black-haired, twisted and insane duo thought of everything, they were almost one hundred percent sure they would go for option two, if not one hundred percent it would be ninety nine percent. And they money they got would be shared with Rangiku and it would surely be spent on frivolities and useless ass items.

"Is there _any_ way to get out of this?" Ichigo asked, well he tried to get out of it, but Rukia didn't let it slide. She knew they did the whole 'trading spouses thing' just to prove to each other how annoying she and Karin could be. And they didn't take to kindly to that, and decided they would take revenge. It was all going well and they were having too much fun. And to stop in the middle of the process would be plain silly and a huge waste of effort. Her conclusion and final answer was simple, "No, just don't trade spouses again."

"Will do." the ginger reassured, no he would not do such a thing ever again. Karin dailed a number, after waiting for three seconds a voice could be heard on the other hand. Time for the status report to the mother ship; "Rin to Ran, phase two is complete."

_I knew it!_ Hitsugaya hissed bitterly in his mind, Rangiku was involved! But then again, what did you expect? He could hear the loud, delighted squeal coming from the other end. _"I'll be right over with the camera!" _she yelled happily, making Karin put some distance between the phone and herself. And surely, when Rangiku would arrive, she would give her Kohai a proud pat on the head. Why was rangiku involved you ask? Well, after losing her phone and precious -vile and privacy invading- video, she had to find a way to make_ some_ money. And this was the perfect was to do it.

Oh, the Josei Shinigami Kyokai would have so much fun with their money!

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** :D I love that song THE CHOISE IS YOURRSS!_


	17. The Second Week: Monday Night

_**A/N: **It's a cliffhanger. . . DEAL WITH IT!_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Monday Night: <em>****_Explanation_**

"I reported to the mother ship, she'll be over in a few minutes or so. The shoot is tomorrow." Rukia smiled slyly, all was in place now. She shoved a small bottle of oil into Toshirou's hands. Why they needed that? No one would know, but they planned the thing out so well! Damn them! If it wasn't so unmanly to cry, both of them would be sobbing on the ground by now. Yeah, those guys were doomed, no way out. Unless they would have to face the rest of the torture. No thanks, the photo-shoot was a way better plan.

But who gave a shit about the poor men? Nobody obviously.

Karin yawned as she stretched her muscles, now they had to make place for the troublesome woman and they didn't know how. But it was all worth the effort, because it were Kurosaki Ichigo and Hitsugaya Toshirou we are talking about here! The sexy, substitute shinigami with the abnormal hair orange color and the hot and mysterious white-haired -midget- captain of the Tenth squad. Both were considered to be jailbait, but that's all the better. And now they would pose shirtless in a magazine, that is the sweetest eye candy in the eyes of young shinigami woman. And the more woman would buy, the more money Karin and Rukia would get for this. At first Kuchiki didn't like the sound of the idea, but then she heard, _"Think of all the cash you could make!"_ and Rangiku supposed;_ "He's only taking his shirt off, that's some damn easy money right there!"_. And all that just because Ichigo would show his abs -or just a small part- and smirk all seductively? So was she in or not? Hell yeah she was in for it!

Which lead to their current position, no way out, "Why do we need oil?" Karin shrugged, "I don't know," she was honest; she didn't know why herself. Matsumoto told her to give them the small bottle she bought during the shopping trip, no questions asked. She was Ran, the mother ship. Boss of the operation, she proved she knew damn well what she was doing so why would you ask any questions? But that shrug Karin gave her brother left him with an unsatisfying answer, though he had a feeling this wouldn't be good, the feeling didn't help at all -seeing everything always turned out worse then he thought or felt it would be.- so he just let it pass for now.

"Just keep it, because you'll need it tomorrow." Rukia answered, she _did_ know why they needed it, but she chose not to ruin the funny surprise. Oh a funny surprise it would be. Why you ask? Well, I didn't want to ruin the surprise, but here I go: in order to make the pictures sexier and more appealing, the boys would have to smear it on the chest. Add some water for the 'I-just-stepped-outta-the-water-even-though-I-wore-jeans-and-my-totally-hot-chest-has-waterdroplets-on-it' look. And als the final touch you add the super-hot, high quality, black-and-white effect to the photo itself. . . And girls will be all over that. One hundered percent sure, even Rukia herself had to admit that she would buy a copy. . .Or two.

"Let's go make the bed for Ran." the two dark-haired women left the room to prepare the arrival -and probable sleepover- of their older friend. Ichigo sighed, trying to make the best of the horrible bear trap they were in.

"Hey Toshirou, maybe it's not all that bad. I mean. . . we'll make money?" he half said half suggested.

"Yes of course, and all the unwanted attention isn't all that bad too." the short captain answered sarcastically.

"Whatever, chicks dig me allready. . . A few more isn't all that bad." the ginger said smugly. As if! The boy might -well he is- be attractive, and maybe there were four girls in love with him at the same time. . . Even if he was very appealing when he had his shirt off- Wait, what am I saying? Well, there's no need in going down the list. We'll end up a proving that statement anyway, regardless of how highly the boy thought of himself the very moment he said so.

"A few? Do you know how many women read that ridiculous magazine _just_ for the pin-ups?" he was right, woman skip all that advice crap and skip right to the hot guy pin ups, and if there were only women pin-ups. . . Well, not really as appealing, is it?

"Ooh, ouch." Well, ouch that was for Hitsugaya. He didn't live in Soul Society, so he would hardly have to deal with all those rabid bitched on his back. Which was only better for him, because Rukia would take only_ so_ much before snapping. . . Every rose has it thorns. And Rukia- "KONNICHIWA!" a loud, bubbly screech came from the doorway, it was a mighty familiar voice too.

"Matsumoto!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** :D PHOTOSHAAWWT Thumbs up for angry Hitsugaya._


	18. Omake: Matsumoto's Dare

_**A/N: **Small part with Matsumoto. Look at is as if were an omake._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Being a woman<em>**

"Not now captain," Matsumoto stopped the young angry captain in the middle of his sentence, one second later and he would've cussed her out like he always did when something went wrong. And since was her fault, the ranting would be way worse. But it was Monday, and it was in her all-payed vacation week, so her captain's scolding wasn't what she needed at the moment, "I just got here." she finished. She put down the black bag in her hand on the couch as she passed by Ichigo. He noticed she held a pink pillow in her right hand, the substitute couldn't help but wonder why she had it with her, "What's that for?"

"Support." she answered as she wiped the dust off her clothes, while the ginger couldn't figure out what there was to support really. Rangiku noticed his confusion, she smiled at the orange-haired boy. She took the whit pillow and squeezed it, the form of her hands remained into it for a few seconds before it returned to it's normal form. "So I can breath when I sleep," was her simple explanation for the situation, "you know my chest is really heavy when I lie down. And this helps." she explained. It was pretty smart, if her back was supported that way it would make sleeping much better.

Ichigo snorted sarcastically, she was always going on about how amazing her chest was and now it was a problem, "Yeah, must be _real_ hard having a killer-rack." he said as he rolled his brown eyes. Rangiku frowned at his comment, to her it was an insult. The blonde wasn't doing it for fun, that she had such large breasts wasn't always a blessing but sometimes also a curse. . . For instance, she can't even sleep or take a nap without supporting her back or she'd surely suffocate. And that stupid Ichigo had the never to laugh at her! Matsumoto threw her blonde hair back, "You have to know, it's not always fun being as beautiful and scrumptious as I am."

Ichigo furrowed his brow at her comment, "You really love yourself don't you?" he said rhetorically. Matsumoto raised her eyebrows, a bit surprised when the substitute even questioned her, "Of course I do, everyone loves me." she noted nonchalantly.

Toshirou sighed, "No comment."

The tall blonde huffed, "You would never understand what it's like to be a woman." she pointed at them accusingly. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes, he could only guess what was going to happen. Matsumoto always knew how to change the simplest things into challenges or some other horrible thing, hence the drinking game and the whole photoshoot scenario.

"Is that so?" Ichigo smirked smugly, "I think bitching and being annoying all day is a very easy task."

"How about I tie weights to your chest so_ you_ know how it feels?"

"Go ahead."

* * *

><p>For a person that barely laughs, Toshirou found it very hard to contain his laughter. It seemed that Matsumoto took this too personal. She got five weights wrapped in pillowcases, strapped the onto his chest and made him walk around with a 'pointy' chest for the rest of the day. Maybe he's have to sleep like that. The white-haired captain snickered softly, "H-How does it feel?" he tried not to laugh too hard.<p>

While trying to find a way to lounge on the couch, the substitute kept changing positions. He groaned in both annoyance and pain. "It kinda hurts my back." Ichigo complained, he noticed the short man laughing at him. He frowned, "Shut the hell up, it's not funny." he exclaimed angrily, only triggering the captain's laughing.

"You know, you're lucky it's Matsumoto," Toshirou said, the substitute raised his eyebrow at the statement, "Karin or Kuchiki on the other hand would kill you on the spot." he pointed out. He was right too, saying that woman bitch and are annoying all the time isn't what most woman would appreciate. And especially respected, independent and not to mention extremely powerful women like them wouldn't.

"I know." he said as he tried to ease the back pain.

Soft footsteps caught their attention, they turned their heads to the doorway. Rukia came in hurriedly, obviously looking for something or someone, "Ichigo have you seen my-" she raised an eyebrow at the extraordinary sight. He had done so many questionable things, from trying to take down a hollow with a chair to throwing her at Renji from a mighty high pillar. . . But this very action took the retard-cake, "what are you doing?"

The boy opened his mouth to speak as he was about to answer, but Hitsugaya shortened the whole story, "To make a long story short, he dared Matsumoto. Matsumoto became angry, tied weights to his chest and now he looks like this." he pointed at the result; Ichigo with weights tied to him, not even under his shirt. Rukia blinked, waved her hands and sighed, "I'm going to stay out of this one completely, we have a_** lot**_ to prepare for tomorrow."

"Sure."

* * *

><p>"Stop moving so much!" Toshirou got mighty annoyed by the sound of the ruffling every time the ginger moved, he managed to struck a never. . . So irritating! When you're trying to write, it's not very handy having someone behind you distracting you. The icy captain sighed with weary, how did the substitute liked to complain about everything. If is wasn't the pain bothering him, then he had to curse about not being able to lounge without having trouble to breath.<p>

"I can't find a way to lie down without dying from fucking pain!" Ichigo fired back, it there was anyway he could rip those fucking weight off himself. . . He knew he was being persistent, but it was part of the challenge, and he wasn't planning on giving up anytime soon. So being persistent it was.

"Lie on your back." Toshirou supposed, but that wasn't good enough either.

Ichigo shook his head, "No, I'll suffocate from pressure on my lungs." Matsumoto had probably told him that, not only would he die, he would die slowly and painfully, and not to mention very unmanly. I mean, seriously. Having breasts made out of weights, and suffocating because of their pressure on your lungs. . . **Not** the manliest way to die, even a girl would say that's true.

"On your stomach?" he tried desperately, the eldest Kurosaki shook his head once more. Hitsugaya groaned at the gesture, meaning this would take a _long_ time.

"No can do, hurts too much, I can't breath that way either."

This was tiring, "Go away then." he supposed angrily. Ichigo frowned, he was the one with the weights strapped to his chest! But then again, he was really the one to blame. He only brought it on himself by being mean to Rangiku.

"If you quit being a bitch." he mimicked the annoyed tone the short captain gave him, making his shorter brother in law growl.

"You're being very unreasonable Kurosaki, I didn't ask you to be here in the first place." he said. Not being able to come up with a comeback, Ichigo just let it pass. He felt a bit uncomfortable having the new weight added, but the pain was easing and he found himself being able to walk normally.

"Hey, I'm getting a bit used to the pressure now." he said happily.

"That's nice." Toshirou admitted wearily.

"I still don't know why Matsumoto is making such a fuss about it." he stood up from his seat, walking away. Finally leaving the young captain in peace.

* * *

><p>The busty blonde watched Ichigo walk pass her. "Fallen on you face yet?" she asked. He shook his head as answer, both confused and surprised. She pouted, then the fun hadn't started yet. Against his better judgement, Ichigo chose to ask her why. . . She simply sighed as she brushed a strand of strawberry blonde hair behind her left ear, "You won't get it unless you fall." she answered. What there was to get? Only she'd know, and he chose to question her.<p>

"Whaddaya mean?" he asked curiously. After that very question was asked, Rangiku laughed softly. She turned around to face the young ginger, a smile plastered on her face. Ichigo raised his eyebrows, making the tall vice-captain smirk slyly, "You'll see. . . Soon." the weird prediction in combination with the creepy smile made it all scarier then it was supposed to be. He furrowed his brows with suspicion, then chose to just let it go.

"O-kay," he said awkwardly, he felt mighty uncomfortable under her sly gaze. He walked away from her slowly, "I'll be in the kitchen if someone's looking for me." he said as he made his way to the kitchen, he looked at the large fruit bowl in the middle of the table. The only thing that could take so much space was the huge green watermelon. He picked up the large fruit, examinated it and put it back.

The substitute then noticed the fruit was at the verge of falling. With a firm push, he pushed it back in place. . . At least he thought he did. The green monstrosity rolled out of the bowl, to the other end of the table. "Shit!" he tried to catch it as fast as he could, but it seemed that he was too late. The loud sound of a 'splat', erupted in the kitchen. He cursed under his breath as he picked it up.

There was a crack in the middle, one piece was even broken. This would never go unnoticed. Karin's voice echoed in his head; _'If you **ever** eat the watermelons, you die.' _The empasis she put on the word; 'Die' mad it all worse. He knew he could handle her in a fight no sweat. . . But she would never forgive him for this, maybe she'd torment him mentally for the rest of his life. Maybe she'd even kick Rukia and him out of the house! No, she was going to let Rukia stay. . . But still! This was bad, so very bad. He couldn't hide this for very long, so his conclusion was, "She's gonna kill me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** I'm thinking about re-writing the first eleven chapters. What do you think?_


	19. Annotation

_I'm very very sorry for the hold up, hacking can fuck with you. I'm currently doing my best to write a new chapter, but she erased all my ideas and summaries. It's really hard to find them all back. (I've stashed them on an old account, I'm trying hard to remember the password and look for old books I might have written it in.)_

_There was some crazy-ass nigga that asked me to write an Ichihime/Hitsuhina story. I refused (if you read my profile you know why) and kindly asked her if she had another OTP. All the pairings she liked were like shit on my keyboard, I refused to touch it._

_-Me is being black right now warning-_

_ And this is to you to the crazy Ichihime and Hitsuhina fan that hacked me; This bitch was good enough to be my friend and she hacked me? Nigga wa's wrong withchu? You was supposed to be a sane fan, an you be hacking me? I kno' yo mother raised you better then that dawg. I told you no an' yo ass still gets mad? I hope they come to your house right now and take yo shit nigga._

_I apologize for my outburst, I've been watching too much Boondocks lately. It's like drugs mayne. I Love You Guys._


	20. Omake: Panicking Strawberry

_**A/N:** Well, I promised._

* * *

><p>Panicked, he was panicked. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He'd be dead before he even knew what he was supposed to do! He cursed as he walked around the table, trying to think of a master plan. Maybe if Rukia would take the fault, Karin wouldn't get angry and just decide to let it slide. Since she preferred Rukia over him, her own blood, her <em>brother<em>. But whatever? He had thought it over and over, trying to put all the pieces together. But every time he though he had the perfect plan, it was doomed to fail somehow. The orange haired substitute ran a hand trough his head. . . Not being able to come up with a good plan caused some serious frustration.

"She'll kick me out for sure." he concluded. Unfortunately for him, Matsumoto had seen it all, and she would surely tell. "I told him so," she said in a sing song voice. Without being seen by the stressed boy, the busty lieutenant passed by the kitchen as she played with a lock of her blonde hair. She had predicted that Ichigo would get into trouble while daring her. If not getting him killed or injured somehow, she would surely have him out of the house for a few hours or so. Slyly, she had her little plan chewed out, and we all know how sly Rangiku can be.

* * *

><p>On the other side of the house, two darkheaded sisters in law were discussing their plans. Karin wrote down a few ideas as they continued their conversation. Everything had to be perfect, there couldn't be a single flaw. the most imprtant thing about the picture had to be the 'sexiness'. They had an equation for it 'Hot Midget plus Handsome Orange equals Sexy pictures.' And how sexier the pictures, how more money they'd earn. Well, they didn't actually need the money. But to make the few weeks they'd be staying fun, they'd so things like that.<p>

Both Karin and Rukia thought diligently,"Ichigo stands on the right, and Toshirou stands on the left, how about that?" the younger woman purposed. Rukia's eyes lit up at the idea. She could already picture it happening. If one could create a pool with drool and drown someone in it. . . Then Karin would already be dead. The black haired girl noticed it too, "Gense to Rukia," she snapped her fingers in front of her face. Rukia jumped slightly as Karin kicked her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry," she apologized meekly. Even though she had Ichigo within her reach, a simple photograph of the shirtless boy had her eyes spinning. That Kuchiki Rukia, what a mysterious, majestic creature. Karin closed the purple notebook she had held and stood up from her seat, "Nevermind, we're done anyways." She dusted off her shorts as Rukia stood up as well.

"And I could go for a snack too." she said as they made trier way to the kitchen, where Ichigo was still fearing for his life.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** I apologize for cliffhanging you, I just wanna know if ya'll still alive._


	21. I Got It!

_**A/N: **I'm sorry for being so inactive (Pregnant Sisters, Vacation, School, Being Extremley Lazy etc.)_

* * *

><p>Ichigo sighed as he heard the light footsteps, this was the moment he feared. He couldn't think of anything to do but trying to hide, and that's impossible. "Well, congratulations Ichigo, this is by far the deepest shit you've got yourself into." he sarcastically complimented himself. The ginger jumped slightly as he heard their voices coming closer. By the looks of it, he had about five seconds to come up with a plan, execute it and make an excuse for why he was there. And that all in just<em> five<em> seconds.

Yeah, like that's possible.

"I'm _so_ fucked."

* * *

><p><strong><em>I've got it!<em>**

* * *

><p>Stress, they were<strong> stressed<strong>. Everyone was walking around. Some were doing shit they weren't even supposed to do. Rukia sighed as she watched Karin desperately looking for the oil she needed. "Ay dios mio," she muttered softly. The two were still looking for the oil, but couldn't find any. She figured Ichigo hid it to prevent them from taking these _embarrassing_ pictures. Since Ichigo was probably dressing, she figured the young captain would know where the needed product was. She walked over to Toshirou, demanding the oil in Spanish. She knew he hated it when she did that, ranting in all Spanish to him.

She pointed her finger at him, accusingly. "Dónde está? El aceite para Ichigo y Te?" Her Spanish was flawless, almost to fast to understand. Sure, the young captain knew a little bit of the foreign languages. Who doesn't these days? But really, this was a bit too hard. He tried to repeat the sentence in his head, a bit slower. But the only thing he could really make up out of it was: Ichigo. "Sorry, but what?"

"The oil, where is it?" she translated quickly. He nodded as he understood what she was demanding. "I don't know," he answered quickly as he shook his head. He wrapped his arms around himself as he felt slightly uncomfortable. Rukia frowned deep, "Mentiras!" she exclaimed angrily, breaking the sudden silence. If he was not to be the prodigy he is, he would jump from the volume of her voice.

"You're lying." she accused once again. He gently rolled his eyes at her as he pushed her arm down.

"No." he stated.

"Si, that's what you say Martinèz." she hissed. There was another Spanish soap series she took names from to other that. And appearantly, Martinéz was a male character that lied a lot.

"Who's Mar-tin-ès?" he stuttered, Rukia snorted as she heard he could barely pronounce the name.

"I got it!" she heard Karin exclaim, they turned around. Karin had a scary wide smile on her face as she held up a bottle of sunflower oil she got from the kitchen.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **I let a friend of mine write this chapter. Give her props. It's short, but I liked it._


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